


Stolen: Greyback's Revenge

by SpoonyLupin



Series: Love Sees More [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cheesy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapped Harry, Kidnapping, Male Bonding, Physical Abuse, Werewolf Culture, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-06-05 15:19:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15173546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpoonyLupin/pseuds/SpoonyLupin
Summary: One month after his escape from Greyback‘s pack, Remus finally feels as if he is putting his life back together. But it’s far from over, because Greyback is patiently waiting to exact his revenge for Remus’s betrayal.





	1. Hunger

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including, but not limited to, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

For about the millionth time since he had returned to Hogwarts, Harry couldn’t sleep. He sat up in his bed in Gryffindor tower, rubbing at his eyes in frustration. This couldn’t go on. A week of not being able to sleep left him dragging and in a fog throughout the day, and he often fell asleep in his classes now. He had already lost a hundred house points to Snape because of it, and his grades were going to be showing the evidence soon enough.

It was odd. The only time he ever really felt safe at Hogwarts now was at meals or when he was in his classes, when everyone was in large groups, wide awake and alert. When the sun set, and everyone started drifting off for the night, that feeling of dread began creeping back into Harry. It left him positively uncomfortable and unable to relax enough to get any decent amount of sleep at night. It was awful.

His thoughts kept going to the Room of Requirement, to the Vanishing Cabinet that had once been there. To the Death Eaters that had so easily gained access to Hogwarts through said cabinet. Harry kept picturing them in his mind, creeping into the castle in the dead of night, everyone sound asleep in their beds and unaware of the danger that was about to befall them.

The cabinet had since been removed from the castle, but Harry couldn’t help but wonder if they might find some other way in. The idea sounded absurd. After all, wasn’t the castle probably the safest right now, after such an occurrence? Everyone was on their guard, and the Death Eaters certainly wouldn’t try again so soon. But Harry had never imagine that they’d be able to gain entry to the castle in the first place. It wasn’t completely out of the question that they might be able to do so a second time.

Every time he closed his eyes, Harry was terrified that the next time he opened them, he might be face-to-face with a Death Eater. Especially Greyback, and Harry didn’t know what it was about the overgrown werewolf that made him so terrifying. With any of the other Death Eaters, even Bellatrix or Lucius, Harry wasn’t entirely afraid of them. They seemed to be more of a nuisance to Harry, a thorn in his side ever since he had met them, but Greyback was different. Perhaps it was the possibility that Greyback might choose to devour him at any moment. That somehow seemed scarier than even any of the Unforgivables - that Greyback could reduce Harry to nothing more than a sad pile of bloodied remains.. It sent shivers up his spine.

Harry slung his legs over the edge of the bed, pushed his curtains open, and stood up. He’d never be able to sleep now, not with the image of Greyback tearing him limb from limb so fresh and stark in his mind. Harry quickly changed out of his pajamas and threw on some Muggle jeans and a sweatshirt. Next, he dug the Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder’s Map out of his trunk, fully realizing how silly this was.

After all, for most of his Hogwarts’ career, Harry had been wanted and hunted by the Death Eaters. It had never bothered him this much before. He had never laid in bed with so many sleepless nights. He didn’t know why this time was so different, other than the fact that Greyback was different. Scarier. More threatening. Even though he was nothing but an overgrown bully. Nevertheless, Remus had admitted that even he was afraid of Greyback. Remus was one of the bravest men Harry knew, and the fact that he could admit to being afraid of some things didn’t make Harry feel so alone. Or stupid.

And Harry was being stupid now. He knew he shouldn’t go wandering about past curfew, especially not after everything Remus had just done to get him out of his latest pickle. But the fact of the matter was that Harry didn’t feel safe in Hogwarts any longer. If the Death Eaters could breach the castle’s security so easily to get to him, what did it matter if Harry went wandering around at night or not? He figured he was just as in danger in his bed as he was standing with a target on his back in the middle of London.

As he made his way down the dormitory stairs, Harry lit his wand and muttered the password for the Marauder’s Map. He did a quick check of the castle and the grounds, making sure that all adults and teachers were either safely tucked away in their quarters, or far away from the path Harry would be taking. It wouldn’t do to get caught, especially when the battle of Hogwarts had been so recent. Harry would be in a load of trouble for being so careless now when he was supposed to be doing everything in his power to keep himself as safe as possible. Like that was even possible in Hogwarts any longer.

Harry safely tucked the Map into his pocket before pulling the Invisibility Cloak on over himself. He held his still glowing wand out in front of him as he slowly made his way through the twisting corridors of the castle. Lately, Hogwarts was only serving to make him feel completely smothered, and not in a good way. The only good kind of smothered was when he was at home, with Sirius and Remus. More and more, Harry was coming to realize that number twelve, Grimmauld Place was his true home, and not Hogwarts any longer. Remus and especially Sirius had a way of making him feel smothered there, but it was a feeling Harry welcomed. It made him feel completely safe and taken care of, something he hadn’t felt a whole lot of in his life.

The last month since Remus’s escape from Greyback’s pack had been like a dream come true to Harry. Remus had been having a hard time adjusting to being back at home, especially at first, but Harry couldn’t think of anywhere he would have rather been than at home helping him. Since the battle at Hogwarts had happened in the middle of December, so close to the Christmas holidays, Harry had been allowed to remain at number twelve, Grimmauld Place until the new term resumed this month. It had turned out to be a godsend for him as well as godfathers, and Harry truly felt that his and Sirius’s constant support over the last month had gotten Remus through the worst of the emotional repercussions of his latest mission.

Now, Harry wanted nothing more than to return there. Hogwarts just wasn’t the same anymore, and that depressed him. Harry longed for the old days when he felt truly safe here, like nothing bad could happen to him under Dumbledore’s care. The headmaster had often been overbearing, yes, but welcome all the same. The moment those Death Eaters had set foot in the castle, that had all been shattered. Harry still felt smothered, but by danger, by Death Eaters. Like they might be lurking around any corner, ready to jump out and drag him off to Voldemort. Harry almost couldn’t stand it, and the only thing that seemed to make it better was escaping the castle. Taking a walk around the grounds and getting some air. The danger wasn’t any less out there, but at least there were open spaces and places to escape to. Harry couldn’t help but remember the trapped feeling when he had been caught with Remus in between a bunch of Death Eaters in the narrow corridors of Hogwarts. There was nowhere to run, nowhere that wasn’t being guarded by Death Eaters. At least outside, that was different. The Death Eaters couldn’t keep an eye on everything that went on out there.

When Harry finally reached the entrance hall, he carefully pushed one of the doors open, stepping out onto the moonlit grounds. It was the middle of January and absolutely frigid, but Harry welcomed it. The winter breeze fluttered around him, lifting up the edges of the Invisibility Cloak and cooling him. It made him feel free in a way, like the wind was carrying away all his fears with it. Like he just might be able to fly away with the wind and leave all his worries behind.

Harry wasn’t even sure where he was going. Oftentimes, he’d just aimlessly wander about the grounds, dreading the moment when it became too late or he got too cold and would be forced to return to his bed. That was the way he started out tonight, but for some reason, he found himself drifting down towards the front gates. He didn’t have any intention of actually leaving the grounds; after all, since the battle at the Department of Mysteries, the front gates of Hogwarts remained spelled and locked. Not that that did any good, because the Death Eaters were finding ways in anyway. However, once Harry actually got there, he found the front gates standing wide open.

At first, this caused Harry’s heart to pound in his chest, figuring that the Death Eaters were back again. That they had found a way to get past the protective spells Dumbledore had in place. He glanced back up at the castle, his first thought to run and alert Dumbledore to this latest turn of events. But then he heard the gates squealing on their hinges.

Harry looked back to the gates only to see Argus Filch pulling the left side closed. He was muttering under his breath about students and how the Weasley twins’ products were still making his work a living hell, despite the fact that they were long gone from the school. Filch then reached for the right side of the gate, but then he paused, digging around in his pockets for something.

Harry made a split second decision. He knew he was being beyond reckless. Wandering around the castle and the grounds after dark was one thing, but sneaking out of the gates was entirely another. That didn’t stop him. For some reason unbeknownst to him, Harry felt like he was being pulled to the Forbidden Forest by some unseen force, and he did nothing to stop it. Harry scurried the remaining distance to the gate, squeezing in between it and Filch just before the caretaker pulled it shut and locked it. Harry didn’t know how he would get back in, nor did he care at that moment. All that seemed to be on his mind was getting as far away from the castle as possible. Putting as much distance between himself and that stifling feeling it overwhelmed him with as of late.

Tiptoeing across dew-dampened grass, Harry made his way across the remaining distance to the forest. He threw a glance back over his shoulder again, but this time, it was directed up at the midnight black sky. The moon was large and bright, but still several days from becoming full. Not that that made things any safer. Just because there weren’t werewolves running around the forest didn’t make it any less dangerous, but at least there was one less thing to worry about.

Or so he thought.

In the end, Harry opted for staying just on the outskirts of the forest. Just being there, having the shadow of the trees hanging over him made him feel so much safer than Hogwarts did anymore. It made him feel freer, like he didn’t have any demented cabinets around the corner that might bring him face-to-face with Voldemort or any one of his minions. He felt content, much more so than he had felt the entire week he’d been back at school.

He sighed heavily, wanting nothing more than to just go home. It occurred to Harry that perhaps he should just go and plead his case to Dumbledore. Tell him how unsafe Hogwarts made him feel now, and how much better he felt being with Remus and Sirius. That would be such a wonderful thing, if he would be allowed to live with his godfathers for the duration of his school years. But Harry knew Dumbledore would never allow it. Despite how dangerous Hogwarts might have become, Dumbledore would feel best if he could keep an eye on Harry himself. If Dumbledore was even there half the time anymore, which Harry knew he wasn’t. He was off hunting for more Horcruxes, but Harry knew Dumbledore still considered Hogwarts to be his domain, one that Voldemort wouldn’t dare breach himself. No, he’d just send his lackeys to do it for him, but as long as Voldemort was afraid of him, Dumbledore would certainly want Harry under his thumb. Damn man was so infuriating half the time.

As Harry was making his way around the line of trees, he heard something snap beyond them. Harry directed his still lit wand towards the direction of the sound, squinting his eyes into the blackness. It was much too dark, however, to see anything through the shadows the leaves cast, even with the aid of his wand. Whatever it was, it had been loud, signifying perhaps some large animal making its way through the woods on its nightly prowl for food.

Harry’s heart began to speed up again, and his breathing quickened. But he was being silly. Whatever it was, Harry was safely hidden under his Invisibility Cloak. No matter what it was, it couldn’t see him. It never occurred to him that not all creatures in the forest relied on their sight to find food.

Harry continued on his way, careful to be as quiet as possible as he went. He still didn’t feel he was in danger, but it wouldn’t do to alert some dark creature to his presence nonetheless. Little did Harry know that said creature already was alerted. In fact, it had been aware of him for quite some time, and it was stalking him behind the safe guise of the trees.

Then Harry heard another cracking sound, another limb breaking in the wake of whatever large creature was lurking beyond the trees. Harry whirled towards the sound, fear exploding in the pit of his stomach. If he wasn’t much mistaken, he thought he also heard a faint growling noise, but Harry prayed that it was just the rapid beating of his own heart.

But Harry was scared. Much more so than he had been in his bed, and that was the only place he wanted to be right then - tucked safe and sound under his covers, whether a suspicious cabinet lurked around the corner or not. He had been completely stupid to venture out of bed in the first place, let alone to leave the grounds. Harry glanced back at the front gates, which were now tightly closed with no sign of Filch or anyone else about. Other than Harry himself and the creature beyond the trees, the entire area seemed almost dead.

Harry didn’t know if he’d be able to climb the fence to get back onto school grounds, but he knew he had to try. Besides, he couldn’t wait out here all night, waiting for someone to come and let him back in. He had made a grave mistake by coming out here in the first place, and he just needed to go back. And he vowed to himself that if he ever made it safely back to his bed, he’d never be so stupid as to venture out like this on his own again. He was through being stupid. He was through carelessly gambling the sacrifice that his parents, Sirius, Remus, and everyone else had already made to save his life.

Turning on his heel, Harry darted back up towards the gates, but he didn’t quite make it. He heard more snapping twigs behind him, followed by the sound of heavy footsteps on the soft grass. Something was after him, and Harry ran faster still. He felt sweat breaking out on his skin, absolutely chilling him to the bone when the cold winter air hit it. Harry shivered, and just when he thought that he had a chance at scaling the fence, he lost his footing.

Something very large and heavy had hit him square in the back. Harry flew forward, his arms flailing out in front of him, desperately trying to grab onto something, but there was nothing there. Nothing to break his fall, nothing to save him. Harry’s knee hit the ground, followed by his hands, and they all throbbed in pain at the impact. Harry, however, kept falling. His arms and leg did nothing to break his fall, did nothing to stop the momentum the creature had given him. Harry’s chest hit the ground next, knocking the air out of his lungs. He gasped for breath, and then his left temple landed on something hard and sharp. Perhaps a rock.

Harry lay sprawled out on the ground, his world growing fuzzy around him. It got even darker, like someone had completely blocked out what little light the moon had been providing. For a moment, Harry thought that he was going to lose consciousness, but then something grabbed him. Whatever it was tore the Invisibility Cloak from his body, completely exposing him for all to see. Then Harry was forced over onto his back, his head lolling around on his neck. Even his eyes swiveled around in their sockets, unable to focus on any one object.

“ _Potter_ ,” someone purred in his face, and that was when Harry knew exactly who it was. There was only one person - one creature - that had a smell like that. The foul breath and body odor invaded his senses, snapping his mind briefly back to clarity. Images from Harry’s last encounter with Greyback flooded through his mind - Greyback throwing him up against the wall and fully intending to eat him.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” Greyback said hungrily, licking his lips noisily. “Ever since you and Lupin got away from me. I’ve been here, watching you ever since you returned to school. You like to wander about the grounds at night, hm?” Greyback laughed. “Oh, but I never thought you’d be stupid enough to leave the safety of your silly school, to walk straight to me. To allow me to take what should have been mine the last time we met. Foolish boy. Did you really think a juvenile Invisibility Cloak would fool me? I don’t need my sight to _see_! My other senses more than compensate for having to hunt in the _dark_. Of course, I wouldn‘t expect a mere human to understand that.”

Then he inhaled deeply, seeming to smell Harry. He fisted his hands in the front of Harry’s sweatshirt, but he dug in a little too hard. Harry could feel Greyback’s long fingernails making quick work out his clothes and sinking into his flesh beyond. A warm wetness spread out across Harry’s chest, and Greyback pulled back a hand. He stuck up his index finger and brought it to his lips, his tongue darting out to lave at his yellowed nails which now carried tiny droplets of Harry’s blood. Greyback’s eyes rolled back in their sockets, and he licked at his lips voraciously, like he hadn’t eaten in years.

Harry’s vision was still fuzzy, but he vaguely remembered his wand he had been holding a moment ago. He thought it had been flung out ahead of him when he’d fallen, so he reached his arms up over his head, fumbling around in the dark for it. All he could feel, however, was the wet grass and the fabric of his Invisibility Cloak. It occurred to him that perhaps his wand had gotten tangled up in the cloak itself, and he started threading his fingers through it, but he grasped nothing but the silky material.

Harry almost wanted to cry out in fear and frustration, but he clenched his teeth, trying to steel himself. He knew it would probably make the overgrown werewolf even more excited to know he was afraid, and he wasn’t about to give Greyback the satisfaction.

“Looking for something?” Greyback asked around a grin, the moonlight glinting off of his long and discolored teeth. He reached for something on the ground to Harry’s left, and a moment later, he held it up - Harry’s wand. “This perhaps?”

As quickly as he could, Harry swiped out a hand for it, but Greyback easily tossed it aside before Harry’s fingers got anywhere near it. Harry’s hand didn’t seem to respond as well as it normally did, almost like Harry was submerged in water and that was hampering his progress. Also, just from that small exertion, Harry felt extremely tired, like he had just gotten through an intense exercise workout. He rolled his head to the left, and he spotted his wand where it had landed - several feet away and well out of his reach.

“Can’t have that,” Greyback chuckled. “It wouldn’t do to have you perform your spells on me while my back is turned. I’ve waited too long for this to be that careless.” Greyback then hooked his fingernails into the front of Harry’s sweatshirt again, pulling at the small punctures he had already made there. He began tearing it apart down the front, exposing Harry’s sweaty and blood-soaked skin to the night air. Greyback ducked his head, lapping at the blood that had pooled on Harry’s chest. Greyback grumbled with pleasure deep in his throat.

Harry summoned all his strength and shoved his hands into Greyback’s chest, but he didn’t budge. He didn’t even flinch at the effort Harry had made. Harry might as well have been trying to move a two ton weight for all the good it did. It felt like all of Harry’s energy was bleeding out of him, being left to soak into the grass underneath him.

Harry didn’t think he had much strength at all left, but he wasn’t about to let Greyback have his way with him. Harry dug his heels into soft ground, attempting to push himself up and out of Greyback’s grasp. Again, his efforts were fruitless, and new beads of sweat broke out on Harry’s forehead at the effort. He was sweating all over, his skin sticky and crawling with it, but at the same time, he was freezing. He shivered every time the wind blew, cutting into his exposed flesh like knives.

For the first time, Harry realized that the entire left side is his head was wet. At first, he thought it was even more sweat, but it didn’t feel like it. Something was trickling down from his forehead to soak into his hair, something that was much more plentiful than the sweat that had broken out on his skin. Vaguely, Harry remembered when he had fallen and struck his head on the way down. It now seemed like a million years ago, even though it had probably been a matter of minutes. He was bleeding there, too, and whatever damage his fall had caused probably now accounted for his lack of energy.

Harry shook his head, like he might be able to wake up from this horrible nightmare his life had fallen into. But that proved to be a mistake, because it only served to make him dizzy again. Darkness clouded his vision once more, and the world seemed to be swirling into indistinct shapes around him. Harry tilted his head as far back as it would go, glimpsing streaks of light from the windows of the castle towering above them.

“P-please,” Harry moaned, and he wasn’t even sure who he was speaking to. Greyback, maybe, begging him not to hurt him anymore for all the good that would do. To someone in the castle, hoping they might come out and help him. Or perhaps Harry was calling to his godfathers, asking them to save him yet again when he hadn’t ever deserved to be rescued the first million and a half times. He was so stupid, so careless, continuously gambling away the sacrifices everyone had ever made for him.

This time, however, he didn’t see any way out. This time, Greyback was going to eat him, and Harry was powerless to stop it.

_To be continued…_


	2. Torn

Early the next morning, Sirius descended the stairs into the kitchen of number twelve, Grimmauld Place. He paused on the last riser, running a hand through his hair and then shoving his hands into the pockets of his bathrobe. Remus sitting at the table, his back to Sirius.

Ever since Remus had returned from the werewolves, he hadn’t been sleeping well. He’d often fall asleep just fine, but then he’d awake at ungodly times after only a few short hours of rest. However, over the last couple of weeks, his sleeping patterns had slowly been returning to normal, and he’d been getting up later and later in the morning. In fact, he’d even been sleeping until after lunch the last few days. Sirius was glad, because Remus certainly needed the rest, and it upset him to think that his friend’s insomnia might be creeping back again.

“What are you doing up so early?” Sirius asked quietly, afraid of the answer.

Remus turned his head slightly, looking at Sirius out of the corner of his eye. “Couldn’t sleep.” He returned his gaze to the direction of the fire and then bowed his head. “Again.”

Sirius hesitated before stepping down off the last stair. He padded across the floor, his bare feet protesting at their contact with the freezing stone. Sirius sat down next to his best friend, fully facing him and leaning into his field of vision. Remus had a half-empty mug of tea in front of him that looked like it had long gone cold. He was staring down into it, like it might hold some kind of answers for him.

“I thought you were doing better,” Sirius said gently.

“I was. I am. Thanks to you. And Harry.” Remus smiled, a gesture that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and then he sighed before beginning again. “I just…” He threw his head back, his eyes searching the ceiling. “I have a bad feeling.”

Sirius reached out a hand, placing it on Remus’s shoulder and squeezing it slightly. “About what?”

Remus glanced at Sirius sideways and replied, “Greyback.” He ran a hand through his own hair before continuing. “I had a dream about him last night. I don’t even really remember what it was about other than the fact that he was in it. And it was scary. Of course. I woke up feeling very uneasy, and that‘s why I couldn‘t get back to sleep.” A moment later, he asked, “Does it make you nervous at all that we haven’t heard one word about him since this entire thing went down? I mean, I wasn’t exactly expecting him to go out and exact his revenge the next day, but there haven’t even been any reports of him attacking _anyone_. Not even at the last full moon, and not even anything with the next full moon only a few days away. He always gets antsy around this time, but…there’s just been nothing. I find that very unsettling.”

Sirius tilted his head back and forth in thought. “Maybe he was recovering. You didn’t exactly leave him in the best of shape.”

Remus shook his head. “I couldn’t have incapacitated him _that_ much. That was over a month ago. Surely he’d be back to his old child-eating self by now. Besides, with the next transformation coming up soon, he needs all the strength he can get.”

After nearly a minute, Sirius suggested, “Maybe you gave him something to think about.”

Remus snorted. “You don’t really believe that.”

“Honestly, I don’t know what I believe. He is a lunatic, after all. Merlin only knows what goes on in that head of his.”

“No,” Remus agreed, “but I know Greyback. You don’t live with someone like him for a while and not learn what kind of…animal he is. He’s not going to just wake up someday and decide that he’s going to stop eating people. It’s a principle to him. Something he deserves. Which is why I find it so strange that as far as we know, he hasn’t eaten anyone since I left him.” He shook his head, more solemnly this time. “You’d think he’d be more inclined to attack people now just to prove a point - that my way of doing things is rubbish. You’d think he want to irritate the hell out of me with it, just because he can. To show me that I only made things worse for the world by trying to pull anything over on him.”

Sirius’s hand was still on Remus’s shoulder, and he started running it up and down Remus’s shoulder blade now, trying his best to offer some semblance of comfort. “You know that’s not true - that anything Greyback does now is even remotely your fault.”

It had taken Remus a long time to be able to admit to certain things, but both Sirius’s and Harry’s constant reassurances over the last month had changed something in him - had broken down some wall he had built up inside himself a long time ago. One that he thought was impenetrable, but Sirius and Harry had gotten through it somehow. Some things didn’t seem so far-fetched to Remus now.

Remus smiled. “I do know that. But that’s hardly the way his mind works. It’s exactly the sort of thing he’d do.”

Sirius frowned and propped up an elbow on the table, resting his chin in his hand. “Yeah, it is, but for his own good, he better not try to seek any sort of vengeance on you. I think I may have to do something not-very-nice to him if he does.”

The smile that had briefly faded from Remus’s face quickly returned, this time growing into a full grin. “Just don’t kill him, okay?”

Sirius raised his eyebrows and stared at Remus. “Hypocrite. You were the one who was saying, just last month, that you should have killed him when you had the chance, rather than risk let him hurting any more people.”

“And you made me realize I was wrong,” Remus pointed out. “He’s not worth becoming a murderer over. The things he does are _his_ fault, not mine, whether I had a chance to kill him or not. So don’t you go running after him and get thrown into Azkaban for it, because I need you here. We both know I‘d be a downright mess right now if it hadn‘t been for you and Harry helping me this last month. I don‘t want to know what I‘d do the next time I have to go through something like this if you weren‘t here to help me put the pieces back together.”

Sirius returned his smile. “I’ll always be here for you, Moony. Azkaban couldn’t keep me away, and neither can anything else. Not even any curtains and certainly no Death Eaters.”

Remus laughed softly, and for the first time since he had woken up in the wee hours that morning, he was beginning to relax. He took a deep breath, finally feeling like everything was going to be okay again, that he was just being paranoid, but unfortunately, that feeling didn’t last.

Just then, a bright flash of green light and a roar erupted from the fireplace. Albus Dumbledore, clad in his customary purple robes stepped into the kitchen.

“Albus,” Sirius said in surprise. His eyes darted furtively to the clock on the mantelpiece, then back to the headmaster. “We didn’t have an appointment, did we?” he asked, voicing the question that was on Remus’s mind. Remus was, after all, usually the one to keep track of various appointments since Sirius was a scatterbrain half the time. Since his ordeal with the werewolves, however, Remus had been a little forgetful himself from time to time. He had a hard time keeping track of his own emotions and day to day life lately, let alone any meetings they had scheduled.

“No,” Albus said, approaching the table slowly. He reached out then, tentatively placing the fingertips of one hand on the polished wooden surface. He tapped it with his fingernails several times, like he was nervous. “I’m glad you’re both up.” His blue eyes went back and forth between Sirius and Remus before he added, “There’s a bit of a problem.”

Remus’s heart started beating abnormally hard in his chest. All he could think about were some random memories from his dream, the one about Greyback that had woken him up. It was still unclear and hazy, but he could remember flashes of Greyback feasting on someone or something. Flashes of teeth and claws. Blood. His hungry growling and atrocious smell that emanated from him at all times overcoming Remus‘s senses, even in his sleep.

Next to him, Sirius sat up straighter, his back arching in fear. Remus sought out his hand under the table, squeezing it in his own for support.

“I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about,” Dumbledore said calmly. “We’ve just been unable to locate Harry this morning.”

Sirius partially stood up, but then he suddenly sat back down again, as if he couldn’t decide what he wanted to do. Or perhaps his legs didn’t want to support his weight in light of his recent news. Silence overtook the room, but then Sirius demanded, “What do you mean you haven’t been able to locate him? Where is he?”

Remus wanted to say that if they knew where he was, then they wouldn’t be unable to locate him. As it was, Remus felt shocked into silence, and he knew his words wouldn’t be helpful to the situation at hand, so he said nothing.

“We’re not sure,” Dumbledore replied unnecessarily. “When Ron woke up this morning, he said Harry wasn’t in his bed. He and the other boys looked around the dormitory and Gryffindor tower, but he was nowhere to be found. They felt for sure that he’d turn up to breakfast, but when he didn’t, they alerted Minerva. We tried looking around him, calling out his name, but he has yet to turn up.”

Sirius buried his head in his hand. “He knows not to go wandering off like this. Especially now.”

“That’s never stopped him before,” Remus said grimly. That sensation he’d woken up with, the feeling that something was horribly wrong, crept back into his stomach again and started working its way up into his chest. He felt slightly ill, and he was glad he hadn’t yet eaten breakfast. But then he decided he was being silly. Harry liked to wander off, but it didn’t mean anything had happened to him. Moreover, it didn’t mean that it had anything at all to do with Greyback. Or any other Death Eaters for that matter. Remus was just jumping to conclusions.

Sirius abruptly stood up from his chair. “I’m coming to look for him. I don’t care if he’s just being Harry and looking for some privacy. He needs to know that going off like this is not okay right now, and if it turns out he is okay, I’m going to kill that kid for making us worry like this.” Without another word, he headed for the fireplace.

It was Remus’s turn to stand up, and he called, “Padfoot?” When Sirius stopped and turned to face him again, Remus said, “Perhaps we should get dressed first.” He gestured between them, both still in their bathrobes. “We don’t even have shoes on.”

“Who the hell needs shoes?”

Remus rolled his eyes. Nothing had even really happened yet, and Sirius was starting to panic already. Once he did, he became utterly useless half the time. Remus would need to be on his toes from this point on. “Wands would be helpful, too, you know, just in case,” Remus reminded. “They’re upstairs.”

Sirius huffed before turning on his heel. As he ascended the stairs, he began muttering about how when Harry was in danger, he didn’t need silly things such shoes and wands.

Remus took a deep and calming breath again, trying to keep his fear in check. It wouldn’t do if both he and Sirius started panicking. “We’ll be there in a few minutes, Albus,” he told the headmaster before following his best friend up the stairs.

~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing Remus and Sirius did upon arriving at Hogwarts was to investigate Harry’s dorm room. At least then, they’d have a better idea if Harry might have simply wandered off by himself, or if foul play had been involved. Given, if Harry did go off on his own, it didn’t mean that he hadn’t run into trouble after that, but at least it was a start.

“His wand is gone along with his Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder’s Map,” Remus said, snapping Harry’s trunk shut after searching it. “That means he definitely wandered off on his own. Unfortunately, that means we also can‘t check the map to see if he‘s in the castle or on the grounds.”

“At least he’s armed,” Sirius muttered, “but I’m still going to kill that kid. He knows not to do this! Especially after what happened last month. You put yourself through hell so you would be there to save him when the time came. Then he just carelessly goes off like this, to hell with everything that’s happened.”

Remus didn’t necessarily find Harry’s actions offensive, and he supposed he should have. After the point Sirius had just made, Remus had every right in the world to be angry, but he wasn’t. This was just Harry being Harry, and Remus found that all too endearing to be upset over it. “You know how he is, Padfoot,” Remus said reasonably. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking at his best friend a bit smugly. “A little bit too much like you for his own good.”

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but he didn’t say anything right away. He closed and opened his mouth several more times, looking oddly like a fish. Finally, he settled on, “That’s different! Harry has parents that worry about him. Mine didn‘t care what the hell I did.”

“Mine did,” Remus reminded, “and so did James’s, and so did Peter‘s. Never stopped us.”

“Well…things were just a lot more fun then!”

Remus snorted. “Like that makes it all better.”

“They were,” Sirius argued. “We weren’t involved in the war yet. Not like Harry is now. We still didn’t know exactly what Voldemort was capable of, and he wasn’t hunting us down, finding ways for his minions to sneak into the school to find us.”

“And I think sometimes Harry just need to get away from all that,” Remus whispered. “Sometimes he just needs to feel like a normal kid who doesn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders. If you were in Harry’s position, I think you’d probably be more determined than ever to exhibit a little bit of freedom like this.”

Sirius’s expression softened at Remus’s words, and he looked away, staring across the room at Harry’s empty bed. “I just worry about him so much, Moony. He’s so vulnerable sometimes. And as much as we all wish he could be, he’s not a normal kid, and he needs to exercise a little more caution than the rest of us did.” When Sirius glanced up at Remus again, he asked, “Do you think he’s all right?”

Remus wanted more than anything to reassure Sirius, to tell him that yes, Harry was perfectly fine. But he couldn’t. Because he didn’t know. And he’d never tell Sirius, but those images from his nightmare had been cycling through his head all morning, a stark reminder that maybe Greyback was involved in this after all.

“I don’t know,” Remus sighed. He crossed the room to his best friend, placing a hand on Sirius’s shoulder just like he had done for Remus earlier that morning. Remus squeezed it tightly and said as confidently as he could, “But we’ll find him, Sirius. We always do.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Sirius and Remus spent the rest of the morning searching the castle for Harry. Dumbledore, meanwhile, seemed to think they were being a little bit ridiculous. The headmaster didn’t yet think it was time to panic, and he kept reiterating that Harry would turn up. That Harry had just found a private place to curl up with a book for the day. Which was ridiculous. If Harry just wanted some quiet time to read, he would have said something. There was no reason for him to wander off like this without saying anything. Especially for this long.

It was nearly lunchtime, and as the day wore on, both Remus and Sirius began growing ever more doubtful that Harry had just gone off by himself. If it had just been a couple of hours, then maybe, but this wasn’t like Harry at all. He wouldn’t disappear all morning without any word to anyone. Certainly not after what had happened with the Death Eaters sneaking into the castle so recently. He just wouldn’t. Harry needed time to himself, yes, but he could have that just as easily if he had taken the proper precautions first.

Remus and Sirius decided to wait in the Great Hall until the students arrived for lunch. Harry had missed breakfast that morning; he had to be hungry by now, and if he was okay, surely he would turn up to eat. They stood near the large double doors, and Remus‘s heart sunk every time he saw a student wearing blue, green, or yellow, but it positively started doing somersaults whenever a Gryffindor came in. But still Harry didn’t appear. Remus saw just about every student he could remember teaching just a few years previously, but none of them where Harry. As the minutes wore on and the Great Hall started getting full, Remus’s heart felt like it had turned into a brick and settled in his stomach.

Eventually, the trickle of students into the hall stopped, and Sirius leaned heavily into the wall. “Something’s wrong, Moony,” he said, pressing his forehead into the hard stones and closing his eyes. “He wouldn’t just disappear for this long, no matter _how_ stressed he was feeling.”

Remus wouldn’t admit it, but he was growing to believe his best friend was right. Remus suppressed his thoughts nonetheless, because it certainly wouldn’t do Sirius any good to know that Remus agreed with him. It would only serve to make him even more scared, so Remus would remain the voice of optimism. “He’ll be okay, Sirius. He will.”

Sirius miserably shook his head. He opened his mouth to reply, but he was cut off.

“We want to help look for him,” Hermione said as she and Ron appeared in the Great Hall. “We just checked up in Gryffindor Tower again, thinking he’d go there if he didn’t come to lunch. He‘s not there. His things haven‘t even been touched.” She sounded alarmed.

Sirius snorted. “At least _someone_ doesn’t think we’re being absolute lunatics.”

Ron shook his head. “He’s been gone too long. Even if he needed some time to himself, I’m sure he would have said something to me first. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s woken me up out of bed. But…” Ron added, but then he broke off.

“What?” Sirius asked sharply.

“Who goes for a walk in the middle of the night?” Ron asked. “If he wanted to be alone, he could do that just as well in his bed with the curtains closed when everyone else is asleep.”

Sirius’s eyes widened. “Well, apparently Harry did, because his wand, cloak, and map are gone right along with him! I somehow doubt that Death Eaters crept in in the middle of the night and carried him off someplace, making sure to bring all his Marauding items along for the ride!” His voice was rising, a sign of his ever-growing panic. “And his wand! Why the hell would they bring his wand?! Surely they’d want him unarmed!”

Remus rested a calming hand on Sirius’s arm, giving Ron a warning look. “Exactly,” Remus said. “All the signs point to him wandering off. There’s no reason to think he didn’t.”

“If he did, he wouldn‘t still be missing for-” Ron began, but Hermione quickly talked over him.

“We’re just wasting time by standing here arguing about it,” she interjected. “Whatever the circumstances, we should be looking for him. He might need our help.”

“I think Sirius and I are going to start searching the grounds,” Remus said. “If he was still in the castle, I feel certain we would have found him by now, but I think you two should stay here. It’s safer, and you two can keep checking Gryffindor Tower, because if he does come back, he’ll probably return there. If something did happen to him, it’ll be too dangerous for you two to be searching the grounds as well.”

“Yeah,” Sirius replied rather coldly, “and then we’ll have three people to rescue instead of just two.”

Remus still had his hand on Sirius’s arm, and he tightened his fingers around it. “Dumbledore can only ignore the problem for so long. I reckon he’ll be contacting Order members sooner or later to help look. You two don’t need to put yourselves in anymore danger in the process.”

Neither Ron nor Hermione seemed very happy with Remus’s plan, but they begrudgingly stayed behind. Remus and Sirius skipped lunch in favor of spreading their search out over the grounds. They hadn’t even had breakfast that morning, but neither one of them felt very hungry. Remus’s stomach was tied up in a million knots, and it kept worsening every minute, every second that they didn’t hear from Harry, and he imagined that Sirius’s was the same. Besides, if Harry didn’t get to eat, then neither did they.

They checked all the usual places in the grounds that Harry might have visited, including the Quidditch pitch, Hagrid’s hut, and around the lake. There weren’t any Quidditch practices going on, and it was much too cold for the students to be out and about, so they all proved to be completely deserted. Hagrid hadn’t heard from Harry either, and once he heard about what had happened, he went off with Fang to begin searching the grounds on his own.

The sun was already beginning to dip precariously low to the horizon, and Remus was sure Dumbledore would be seeking reinforcements now. However, neither Remus nor Sirius wanted to stop to find out. After all, every second that passed could mean further danger for Harry, so they kept on looking. Neither one of them had any idea where to look now, so they resorted to randomly walking around the grounds, hoping for any sign of Harry.

On about their fourth trip around the grounds, they paused not far from the front gates. Neither one of them said anything at first, but they just stared at each other. The wind had picked up, and it was whipping around them, the only noise to their ears. Sirius pulled his robe more tightly around himself, looking fairly certain that they knew where they had to look next, but at the same time, he was too scared to admit it. Remus felt the same way.

After the silence had become unbearable, Sirius said miserably, “Oh, Moony. He wouldn’t leave the grounds.” He closed his eyes, as if in a silent prayer. “He just wouldn’t.”

“I think we need to look though, Padfoot,” Remus said. “He’s not here-” he gestured back towards the castle, “-and we’ve been searching all morning and afternoon. And if he’s not, I don’t know where else he can be.”

Sirius stuck out his bottom lip, letting out a heavy breath. “I’m really going to kill that kid,” he growled before withdrawing his wand from his pocket. He murmured the spells needed to unlock the gate, pulling it open wide enough for both he and Remus to pass through.

Remus began picking along the grass that ran around the exterior of the fence, hoping for some clue as to where Harry might have gone. Sirius, meanwhile, slowly made his way down the path. He stopped every so often, planting his hands on his hips and staring into space like he was asking some higher power for help.

After nearly a half an hour of his investigation didn’t turn up anything, Remus’s eyes eventually trailed down to the Forbidden Forest. He hadn’t wanted to say anything to Sirius, but it was becoming more and more apparent to him that maybe, just maybe, Harry was in there for some obscure reason. Remus rather doubted Harry would venture into the woods on his own, but perhaps something had attacked him. Dragged him…

“MOONY!”

Remus was shaken out of his thoughts by Sirius’s scream. He frantically looked around, not even sure where his best friend had gone. Then he saw him, crouched in the grass not far from where the line of trees started. Remus broke into a run, his heart about ready to beat right out of his chest with the effort it was exerting. His stomach seemed to have lodged itself into his throat, and Remus almost couldn’t swallow. He was terrified of what he would find when he finally reached Sirius, but yet, he couldn’t run fast enough.

When he got to Sirius, Remus’s shoes slid slightly in the grass. He reached out, grabbing onto Sirius’s shoulder and catching himself before he overbalanced. Remus gasped for breath and then he saw it. The thing that had made Sirius scream out for him. In Sirius’s hands was a velvety fabric Remus would recognize anywhere.

“The cloak,” Remus whispered, and he wasn’t even sure where he had even found his voice.

“Moony,” Sirius repeated, much more quietly this time, his voice quivering impossibly hard. His hands were shaking as he reached for one end of the cloak, pulling it up out of the grass. There were claw marks in it. Deep, long-running claw marks that had torn the fabric into long strips in a couple of places.

Remus’s mouth dropped open at the sight, but then he saw something else. Something much worse. Something that made his blood run cold. In the grass where the cloak had been were several large puddles of deep crimson liquid. Remus didn’t even have to take a closer look to know what it was. He could smell it - salty, coppery, heavy in the air, and overwhelming to his werewolf senses.

He was glad his hand was still on Sirius’s shoulder, because Remus’s legs suddenly felt full of jelly. He didn’t think he’d be able to continue standing under his own power if he had to.

Sirius glanced up at him, his eyes large and wide. In the light from the setting sun, Remus could see the very first tears beginning to well up there. “I knew it,” Sirius said so quietly, Remus barely heard him. His voice was still shaking, but even more now, and his shoulders began to heave slightly. His fingers clenched into fists in the fabric of the Invisibility Cloak, his knuckles turning white from the effort. He hung his head and muttered, “I’ve been angry at him. All day…I’ve wanted to kill him…” His voice died in his throat, and if Remus wasn’t mistaken, he thought he saw a tear drip down onto the silvery cloth in his hands.

Remus wanted nothing more than to reassure him. To tell him that he knew Harry was fine and that they’d find him. As the day wore on, however, those thoughts kept drying up inside Remus, one by one. He wasn’t sure if he had any left to give and finding the shredded and abandoned Invisibility Cloak covering up pools of blood in the grass like a dirty secret was like the final nail in the coffin. He couldn’t offer Sirius anymore guarantees, not without feeling like he was outright lying, and that was something Remus wouldn’t do to his best friend.

Remus’s legs were shaking impossibly hard, and he couldn’t continue to stand up, even while leaning on Sirius. It wasn’t just that he was afraid for Harry, but Remus was afraid for his best friend. Terrified of what Sirius might do if they didn’t find Harry, if it turned out that something horrible had happened to their godson like this evidence suggested. Sirius had already been through so much, and Remus didn’t think he could handle this. Not now, not ever.

Dropping down into the grass next to Sirius, Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius’s shoulders. Remus was aware that it was a small comfort, but he didn’t know what else he could do. He was out of words, and he didn’t think he had it in him to speak at all right now. He pulled Sirius close to him, letting Sirius bury his head in his shoulder. Sirius’s own shoulders and back kept shrugging at random intervals, and all Remus could do was hold him.

Remus was scared to death, too, but his desire to help Sirius through this was even stronger. Over the last month, Sirius had been everything to him. Sirius had held him up when Remus couldn’t stand on his own. He had been the shoulder that Remus so desperately needed to cry on. Sirius had been his rock, and Remus was determined to be that for him now.

_To be continued…_


	3. The Bond

Remus rested his cheek on the top of Sirius’s head, but then his eyes drifted off towards the Forbidden Forest. There was no trail of blood leading away from the puddles that were in the grass, but Remus became almost convinced that someone or something had dragged Harry away into the trees. Remus’s thoughts kept going to Greyback, to the dream he’d had the night before, but he tried pushing those images away. There was no use jumping to conclusions, because it would only cause him to panic, and then he wouldn’t be of any help to anyone.

However, Remus was suddenly determined to find whoever or whatever had done this - injured Harry enough to make him bleed and taken him away from them. Remus thought the best place to start was in the Forbidden Forest; after all, they didn’t have any other leads, and that was where all those unsavory creatures lurked.

Remus let go of Sirius and stood up. Sirius swayed a bit at the loss of contact, and Remus felt horrible for leaving him in such a state, but something had awakened inside Remus. The need for revenge, or perhaps it was just the overwhelming urge to see Harry alive again if at all possible. Whatever it was, Remus couldn’t stop it, nor did he want to.

“Where are you going?” Sirius asked wearily, rubbing at his slightly damp eyes with a shaking hand. He then moved his hand to his forehead, pressing his palm to it and watching Remus out of the corners of his eyes.

Remus stopped dead in his tracks, glancing back at Sirius over his shoulder. “We can’t stay here.” He fixed his eyes on the forest again and muttered, “Clearly an animal did this. Don’t you think that’s where they would be?”

Sirius hurriedly scrambled to his feet, despite the fact that his legs were very unsteady. “Moony, you just can’t go wandering around in there! You’d only be putting yourself in danger, and perhaps for nothing. We don’t even know if that’s where Harry is, and he’s our priority right now. Don’t you think we should be a little more certain about his whereabouts before we start narrowing down our search?”

Remus knew the answer to that - that if they didn’t start narrowing down their search pretty damn quick, they might not make it to Harry in time. The pools of blood in the grass were testament to that, but Remus didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. He didn’t think either one of them could handle those words spoken aloud right now.

“Besides,” Sirius muttered, staring down at the sad pile of the Invisibility Cloak still on the ground, “I need you. I feel like you’re the only thing keeping me together right now - the reason why I’m able to form a coherent sentence, and I’m not babbling like a lunatic. I can’t have you going off and getting yourself hurt or-” Sirius broke off, all too aware of what he had been about to say. He swallowed hard. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, too.”

Turning to face his best friend, Remus gave him a defeated look. As much as he wanted to immediately go off and hunt down whoever had done this, he had to admit that Sirius had a point. “Oh, Padfoot…” Remus sighed. He slowly nodded. “You’re right. We should alert Dumbledore first and foremost. He’ll definitely want to send out a search party now, get the Order on it. Maybe one of them-” Remus broke off. He had been gazing down at the bloody puddles again, but then his eyes had drifted absentmindedly across the grass. He hadn’t even been looking for anything, but it was just in an effort to find something, anything else that would occupy his mind for a few moments. To distract him from the horrific images that kept popping into his mind. And he did see something, something they hadn’t spotted before, hidden among the tall blades of grass.

“Moony?”

Remus took several steps towards the object, and once he was close enough, his deepest fears were realized. He didn’t know which was worse - this or the blood - but this filled him with a horribly intense feeling of hopelessness that the blood hadn’t. Remus almost didn’t want to let Sirius see, didn’t want him to know what he had found, but it was a little too late to think about that. Sirius was still watching him closely, and Remus knew he’d never let it go if Remus tried to turn Sirius’s attention away from it. Nor did he really have a right to. This was Harry’s godfather, after all; he had a right to know about any clues that were found, no matter how much Remus wanted to protect his best friend from the hurt they would inevitably bring.

“Moony, what is it?” Sirius asked as if to emphasize this point, and he started approaching Remus now.

Remus let out a heavy breath before stooping down to retrieve the object from the grass. He held it up for Sirius to see, causing him to stop in his tracks. They both recognized it immediately, because they knew it as well as their own - Harry’s wand.

Sirius’s teeth clenched, his bottom lip quivering the tiniest bit. A moment later, he closed his eyes and let out a very long breath, one of hopelessness and despair - the same things that had grown to be a brick in Remus’s own chest. When Sirius opened his eyes again, they were slightly watery once more as he directed them up at the sky. It was like he was silently asking whatever might be up there why it always had to be Harry.

Suddenly, a strangled sound ripped from Sirius’s throat. To Remus, it sounded almost inhuman, and if he hadn’t seen it for himself, he would have thought that it had come from an animal. Remus wasn’t even sure how Sirius was able to form a coherent word with the amount of anguish present in his voice, but among it came out a choked out, “HARRY!”

Remus watched helplessly as his best friend called out for his godson. Sirius‘s chest was left heaving and he waited in silence, almost like Harry just might have heard him and would be able to answer. When nothing but the sound of the wind through the trees settled on their ears, Sirius’s eyes settled on the Forbidden Forest, on the tree line that Remus had been approaching not very long before. Sirius’s breathing had become fierce and loud, his shoulders heaving up and down with every breath. Without another word, he began stalking towards the trees, a determined look on his face.

“Padfoot!” Remus yelled, hurrying across the ground to try and catch up to Sirius. “Padfoot!” Remus tried again when Sirius didn’t stop. Eventually, Remus had to break into a run, reaching out and grabbing one of Sirius’s arms. “Padfoot!” Remus repeated, forcing Sirius to stop. “You were right before, you know. You can’t just go wandering around in there with no clue that that’s where Harry even is.”

Sirius struggled halfheartedly to get out of Remus’s grip, probably because somewhere in his grief-clogged mind, he knew Remus was right, that he‘d been arguing the exact same thing just a few moments prior. “I don’t care!” Sirius whispered harshly anyway. “I can’t just stand here and do nothing! Does this feel right to you?! Harry is out there somewhere - Merlin only knows in what kind of shape - and we’re standing here figuring out what to do next!”

Ever the voice of reason, Remus reminded calmly, “Mainly because we _don’t_ know what to do next. What if Harry isn’t in there at all?” he asked, gesturing towards the tree line. “We’d be wasting a lot of time, leaving him waiting even longer, and what if we got hurt in the process? That’s not going to help him at all.” Remus had a brief moment of déjà vu, almost not able to comprehend how he and Sirius had done complete reversals in their attitudes. Perhaps it was because Sirius had stopped him just long for Remus’s common sense to take over once again. He now realized just how insane wandering around in the forest would be, but he shook the thought from his mind; there were much more important things at hand right now. “We need to get the rest of the Order on this and now. The more people that are out there looking for him, the better. Maybe they’ll want to search the forest, too, who knows? But they’ll most likely want to get Hagrid involved, because that is the safest way to explore the forest. That’s what we need to do right now - get others involved - and then we’ll figure out what to do. There is safety in numbers after all.”

“I know,” Sirius sighed, sounding a bit desperate. “I just…I want to find him, Moony. The longer we stand here, unsure of what to do, I feel like he‘s getting further and further away from us. And he can‘t even defend himself. He needs us.” A sob exploded from his chest.

Remus tightened his fingers around Sirius’s arm. “I know. I want to find him, too.” He turned his head to the right, glancing back at the puddle in the grass. “You reminded me of something. I’m just beginning to doubt that he even is in the forest. If this was an animal the way it looks and it dragged him away, there‘d be a trail of blood, and there isn’t. It just stops. That leads me to believe it was a person.” He narrowed his eyes determinedly. “And if it was, it makes no sense for them to hide out in the forest with him. They either would have Disapparated with him or carried him away.”

Sirius gave him a weary expression. “That really doesn’t help me to feel better, Moony.”

“Sorry, I’m just trying to put the pieces together.”

Sirius swallowed audibly. “You think it was a Death Eater.”

“Isn’t it always where Harry is concerned?” Remus paused for a very long time, not sure if he should share his fears with Sirius. More and more, the clues seemed to be pointing in one direction, and Remus couldn’t avoid the fact that it seemed like his nightmare was coming true. The last thing Remus wanted to make Sirius even more scared than he already was, but in the end, he didn’t think that was possible. Finally, Remus admitted, “And there’s only one Death Eater who leaves a calling card like this.”

“Greyback,” Sirius said unnecessarily.

Remus hummed in agreement and added, “In which case, I think he’d definitely take Harry someplace else. He isn’t stupid. He’d know the forest would be way too obvious. He wouldn‘t go to all this trouble to steal Harry in the first place and then leaving him laying around so close by.”

Sirius suddenly put his hands on his hips and laughed harshly, crazily. It was a sound that scared Remus - like he imagined Sirius‘s laugh had been when he‘d gotten arrested. “If it _is_ Greyback, I’m going to kill him.” He crossed his arms over his chest, glowering. “First you and now Harry - that bastard’s wreaked enough havoc with my family.”

Something suddenly broke inside Remus. The calm, cool composure he’d been able to maintain a hold over until now seemed to escape him. He was angry, and the fact that this might involve Greyback after all made him see red. And that scared him. Not just the fact that Greyback might be responsible, but that that damn werewolf could make Remus become unhinged so easily. “You’re not going to kill him,” Remus said firmly, his voice dropping to a growl, “because I will first. Bill was one thing, but Harry is entirely another. How _dare_ he lay one finger _my_ pup.”

Sirius’s eyes had widened slightly. “You’re scaring me.”

“Well, that makes two of us, which means Greyback should be _very_ afraid,“ Remus grumbled. “And he just better hope one of us doesn’t find him first. We won‘t be as gentle as the rest of the Order.” A moment later, he drew in a sharp breath, as if only now realizing what he had just said. He ran a hand through his hair and then grasped the back of his neck, trying to calm himself. “But the longer we stand here…”

“Yeah,” Sirius finally agreed, nodding, “I see your point. Bastard’s a loose cannon. We’d do well to get other people in on this.”

He gave Remus one last worried look before leading the way back up towards the castle. He stopped once on the way to pick up the shredded Invisibility Cloak, hugging it tightly against his chest like it might have been Harry himself.

~~~~~~~~~~

With the evidence Remus and Sirius had uncovered, Dumbledore didn’t waste any time in alerting the rest of the Order to Harry’s disappearance. Indeed, it was also getting close to dinnertime, and even Dumbledore couldn’t continue to insist that Harry had just wandered off for a while. The Ministry, however, remained in the dark. Voldemort and the rest of the Death Eaters had become much too involved in the government, and it would only endanger Harry even further (if that was possible) to get them involved.

The Order began an intense search of the Hogwarts’ grounds and the surrounding areas, looking for any sign at all as to Harry’s current location and physical state. Remus and Sirius helped them search well into the night, until Molly and Arthur all but forced them to take a break. They had been looking all day, after all, much more so than the rest of the Order, and even Remus had to admit that he was exhausted. He and Sirius hadn’t even had anything to eat that day (save for a half a cup of tea on Remus’s part), and as much as Remus’s stomach remained in knots, he knew they needed nourishment. Remus was even beginning to feel shaky and weak, and he knew that was due to him skipping all meals today.

Dumbledore had set up a base of sorts for the searchers in the Great Hall. He had the house-elves bring up some food from the kitchen, and the Order members had laid out some maps on one of the tables. When Remus and Sirius dragged themselves in, Kingsley was poring over the maps with some of the other Order member, checking off the areas that had already been searched.

Remus forced Sirius to sit down at the table with the food. Sirius had been protesting the entire way, insisting that they needed to keep looking, but Remus knew this was taking a toll on them. Not only had they not eaten all day, but it was freezing outside. By the time they got inside, Remus’s limbs were largely numb to the roaring flames in the fireplace. He and Sirius could only keep going like that for so long before they started to suffer the consequences.

Remus grabbed a plate of sandwiches as well as a pitcher of warm pumpkin juice. He sat down across from Sirius and shoved them under his nose.

Sirius grimaced, wrinkling up his nose at them. “I’m not hungry.”

“Too bad,” Remus said, grabbing a turkey sandwich and forcing himself to stomach it. “I’m not letting you go back to the search until you have something. Padfoot, we haven’t eaten since last night at dinner! How long do you think we can keep going like this before we collapse? And you _know_ Harry wouldn‘t want us to jeopardize our heath in the process.”

Letting out an annoyed breath, Sirius muttered something under his breath, before reaching out for a tuna salad sandwich. He took a big bite and asked around his full mouth, “Happy?”

“Yes.”

Once they began to eat, both Remus and Sirius realized that they were a lot hungrier than they had realized. Each of them ended up finishing two sandwiches and splitting a third. After that, they began to show the unmistakable signs of fatigue and a full stomach. Sirius had resorted to resting his upper body on the table, his chin on top of one arm while his other hand fisted anxiously in his hair. His eyes kept drooping, but he kept opening them wider, trying to fight the sleepiness that was threatening to claim him. Remus thought that they could both do with a nap, but he knew Sirius wouldn’t hear of it. Perhaps it was just better to let Sirius rest here rather than getting him all worked up again in an effort to get him to lay down.

Remus had propped his elbow on the table, and he was resting his cheek in it. Unlike Sirius, however, he was thinking. Or feeling. He wasn’t quite sure which. He was digging deep inside himself for that connection he had with Harry, as if he was checking to see if it was still there. Remus was aware of the fact that the idea was probably absurd, but he knew that werewolves in a pack had an intense bond with each other. Actual werewolves did anyway, whether they were bonded by association or bite. Such a connection had never been established between werewolves and humans, but Remus was sure it was there. Greyback would laugh at it, would say that humans most certainly did not constitute a pack, but Remus knew different. He had an intense bond with both Sirius and Harry, and maybe, just maybe he could tell…something.

“You know,” Sirius said very quietly after a while, “depending on what time he disappeared, Harry’s been missing for about twenty-four hours now.” His voice was drowsy, defeated almost. “I read once that the first twenty-four hours are critical in missing persons’ cases. If they’re not found by then, the chances that they’ll be found alive begin to decrease dramatically.”

Remus had read that before, too. He nodded his head once, pressing his lips together grimly, still lost in that place inside himself. He simply rested his hand on top of Sirius’s, gripping it tightly. When Remus spoke again, it was with a confidence that he hadn’t felt before. “We’ll find him, Padfoot. We will.”

Sirius must have heard that same conviction in Remus’s voice, because he frowned and tilted his head to the side curiously.

“I can’t explain how I know, but he’s alive,” Remus said firmly. “And I’m not just saying that to make you feel better.” He smiled and laughed lightly, but this time, it was out of relief. “I’ve never been so glad I was a werewolf.” Remus pressed his other hand against his chest, directly over his heart. When he spoke again, his tone was nearly choked with emotion. “Because I can sense him. His soul. It’s still there.”

Sirius lifted his head up, staring at his best friend. As doubtful as he still was about Harry’s wellbeing, he knew Remus spoke the truth. “Well then, so is yours,” Sirius replied. When Remus gave him a questioning look, Sirius explained, “You’re always concerned about not having a soul anymore. That the wolf might have destroyed it along with stripping you of your humanity. But Remus, don’t you see? You couldn’t possibly sense Harry’s soul if yours wasn’t intact. That alone proves how different you are from Greyback. He wouldn’t even have a clue what a soul is anymore.”

Remus opened his mouth to reply, but then he found that he didn’t have the words. He simply ducked his head, feeling his cheeks growing impossibly warm. All he could do was squeeze Sirius’s hand some more in response.

Sirius replaced his head on his arm, still keeping his fingers entwined with Remus’s. Silence fell between them, but for the first time since this ordeal had started, it was bordering on comfortable and relaxed. Sirius let out a calming breath, his eyes continuing to droop. Finally, Sirius gave into sleep, soft snores escaping from him.

Sleep, however, was the furthest thing from Remus’s mind, and he thought that was a bit ironic. He never would have thought that Sirius would be the one to fall asleep. Not with how frantic he was, not with how positively invested he was in Harry’s safety. Remus was as well, but sometimes, he was all too aware of the fact that his bond with Harry could never come close to the father and son relationship he shared with his actual godfather. As much as Remus wished he could have such a close connection with Harry, he just knew it didn’t compare.

Remus was glad though, that Sirius was able to find a little bit of peace, if only for a few minutes. He certainly needed it. They both did, actually, but Remus’s mind was running much too wild now for him to calm down enough. Ever since they had found the torn Invisibility Cloak in the grounds, Remus’s mind had gone into overdrive, seeming to become fixated on Greyback. As soon as he’d found out that Harry had gone missing, he’d been pretty sure that Greyback was involved. Remus’s dream, the unsettled feeling that it had caused him couldn’t have all been just a coincidence. As the day wore on and as they found the cloak in the grounds, Remus became absolutely certain. It was the same way he knew that Harry was still alive. Remus just sensed it.

All he could think about was the stinky, disgusting, overgrown werewolf having _their_ Harry. Harry laying somewhere under his control, being overwhelmed with that stench that followed Greyback everywhere. Harry struggling to find a way out of the predicament he found himself in. Tears, perhaps, even streaming down Harry’s face if only as a result from Greyback’s foul odor.

Every time he pictured Harry’s face like that, wet with tears, it made Remus’s bottom lip quiver. It made a wave of sobs threaten to overtake him. It made his teeth clench impossibly hard against the thought that Harry was scared and helpless. That Remus had done this to him. That this was his fault.

He knew everyone would tell him to quit blaming himself, but Remus couldn’t. It had become second nature to him by now. Despite how much it had all been Dumbledore’s idea, the fact of the matter remained that Remus had willingly _chosen_ to try and put one over on Greyback in the first place. Yes, it had all been done to protect Harry, but look where that had gotten them. It had only served to put Harry in even more danger. Perhaps things would have been better left alone. Because now Greyback was angry. Remus had no doubt of that, and he wanted to hurt Remus in any way possible. And he was doing that.

Remus couldn’t even put into words the revulsion for himself that had begun coursing through his body. He couldn’t believe he had put Harry into this position. That he thought he could betray Greyback so easily and that there wouldn’t be any consequences. Well, no, that wasn’t true. He had known there would be consequences, but for himself alone. He was well aware that he would earn Greyback’s hatred for the rest of his life. That he would forever be in danger if he ever ran into the overgrown werewolf again. But that had been okay. That had only involved Remus, and he could take care of himself. Never, in a million years, did Remus ever imagine that this might involve Harry or anyone else he loved. It had never occurred to him that Greyback might seek his revenge by hurting Remus’s family. Of course, it seemed kind of obvious now that Remus thought about it. It seemed like just the thing Greyback would do, just the way Greyback would prove how much better he was, because he didn’t have any family to be hurt by. Remus was vulnerable, and his ability to love made him that way. Greyback wasn’t just seeking his revenge by going after Harry, he was proving a point.

Why hadn’t Remus thought of this? Why hadn’t it occurred to him that he might be endangering those he loved? It was exactly the way Greyback played, the way he operated. While he was living with the pack, Remus thought he could read Greyback, could predict him so well, but only now did he realize that he didn’t have a clue. Only now did it occur to Remus how careless and reckless he was being.

Remus sucked in a shaky breath, trying his best to keep it quiet. The last thing he wanted to do was wake Sirius now that he had fallen asleep. But ever since earlier that evening, there was an intense anger and frustration that had awoken inside Remus. One that he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to control if it came right down to it.

And then as if proving his fears exactly right, the answer literally landed right in front of him. Suddenly, a grey owl had arrived in the Great Hall, swooping down low across the tables and flying towards Remus. Remus blinked it, almost not sure if he was really seeing it. He was still a little bit too caught up in his thoughts to register much of anything else. A moment later, the owl landed right in front of Remus, depositing a tiny scroll of parchment on the table. Before Remus could even react, the owl had taken off again, disappearing out of the hall as quickly as it had come.

Remus’s eyes darted first to Sirius, and then to the other Order members gathered at another table. Sirius was still asleep, and the others were much too engrossed in their maps to notice. Remus swallowed hard, his eyes then going to the little scroll of paper. He didn’t know why, but as he reached out for it, he felt like he was doing something wrong, like he was about to read something indecent. Like a little boy who had gotten into his father’s adult magazine collection. Mail didn’t come at this hour and besides, who would know to contact him at Hogwarts? And then he knew. Before he even touched the piece of parchment, Remus knew exactly who it was from and where it had come from.

Softly disengaging his hand from Sirius’s, Remus unrolled the paper. He wasn’t even surprised when he saw the ugly, crude writing scrawled inside. It looked like it had come from a very angry child, one who was in the middle of a temper tantrum and couldn’t quite control himself. The writing was sloppy in short, stilted strokes. It looked animalistic, almost like claw marks were making up the words themselves.

****

_**My insubordinate pup,**_

_**Missing something?**_  
_**The Shrieking Shack. Now. You must be alone if you wish to see him alive again.**_

_**Regards,**_  
_**Your alpha wolf**_

A fresh wave of anger rose again in Remus like a wave, and he clenched his fingers tightly in the note, crinkling the paper underneath them. His breathing began fast and heavy anew, and it was all he could do to keep from screaming in fury. Remus was very thankful that the half-empty glass pitcher of pumpkin juice was just out of arm’s reach, because he was certain he would have picked it up and smashed it if it had been close enough. Remus sucked in a sharp breath. He forced himself to open his hands, letting the note fall to the tabletop like a dead autumn leaf descending from a tree. Almost immediately, Remus’s fingers clenched into fists again, but he kept telling himself that he had to get a grip. If he lost his temper, he would become careless, and that wouldn’t do Harry any good at all.

A million thoughts ran through Remus’s mind. His first one was to wake Sirius, to show him the evidence of this latest turn of events. Or to run over to the rest of the Order members in the hall, to show them the note as well. But in the end, Remus decided against it. He scanned the letter again, and it said he must come alone if he wished to see Harry alive again. Now, Greyback was full of shit and Remus doubted pretty much everything he said. Just because Harry might be alive now didn‘t mean he would stay that way, no matter what Remus did, but he knew he couldn’t take the chance this time. Harry’s life was on the line, and he was much too important. If there was even the smallest possibility that he could keep Harry safe this way, he would do it. A million times over.

Remus checked to make sure Sirius was still asleep, that Remus hadn‘t disturbed him in his fury. Then Remus checked that the others in the hall were still preoccupied. Once he was certain that no one was particularly concerned about him, Remus slowly stood up from the table. He checked to make sure his wand was in his pocket, which it was, right next to Harry’s. Remus swung one leg over the bench, but then he stopped, his eyes fixing on the Invisibility Cloak. It was sitting right on top of the table, just next to Sirius. It was now torn very severely, but it was still in one piece and it was still somewhat useable. Besides, it was pitch dark outside, and the cloak would serve well enough for now.

Remus grabbed it up in one arm, hugging it tightly against his chest just like Sirius had done not long before. Remus swung his other leg over the bench, giving Sirius one last look. Then Remus quietly snuck out of the Great Hall, leaving behind one best friend for the one he considered a son.

_To be continued…_


	4. Bat Out of Hell

When Remus stepped out into the frigid night air, he didn’t waste any time in pulling the Invisibility Cloak over himself. Some of the Order members were still about the grounds, keeping an eye out for any sign of Harry and conferring with each other about the latest. If anyone spotted Remus, they’d want to know where he was off to by himself. He was much too flustered to even try and think up a lie, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to tell anyone about the letter he had received. Harry’s life was on the line after all, and Greyback had demanded that Remus come alone.

Remus knew this was insane - willingly going off to meet Greyback all by himself after everything that had happened between then. Greyback had a score to settle with Remus, and Greyback wouldn’t be happy until Remus was dead. That was the price of betraying Greyback. But all that Remus was concerned about at the moment was Harry. He was Remus’s priority, and Remus would walk to the ends of the earth to keep him safe if he had to.

After all, that had been his point for going to live with the werewolves in the first place - to keep Harry safe. Remus hadn’t known that at the time, but Harry had been the reason for all of it, and Remus wasn’t about to let his time with the werewolves be in vain. If something happened to Harry now, it would all be pointless. All of it. Aside from the pain of any harm coming to Harry, Remus couldn’t stomach the thought of his time with Greyback going to waste. He hadn’t lived with that monster, hadn’t given up two months of his life - and even more recovering from the experience - for nothing. It all had to be worth something. It _had_ to.

It vaguely occurred to Remus that he just might get himself killed in his quest to make his time with the werewolves worthwhile, but right now, that didn’t matter. He didn’t matter. All that mattered was Harry.

Remus hurried across the grass, quickly making his way towards the Whomping Willow. As he went, he was reminded of his own schooldays so long ago - running across the grounds in the evenings before the moon rose, hoping that no one would spot him and wonder just what in the hell he was doing. He felt like a little boy all over again, like he was doing something wrong and might be caught and scolded.

Pausing just in front of the Whomping Willow, Remus turned to look back over his shoulder. He glanced around the grounds, checking to make sure there was no one in his vicinity, no one to see the tree’s swinging branches when they suddenly froze. Swallowing hard, Remus looked about the ground for a stick, grabbing up the longest one he saw. He carefully approached the tree, holding the branch out in front of him. He crouched lower to the ground and slowly crept forward until the end of the limb came into contact with the Whomping Willow’s knot. The tree immediately stilled.

Throwing one last look over his shoulder, Remus easily lowered himself to the grass and slipped in between the tree’s roots with the skill of someone who had done so many times before. It had been years since Remus had done so, and even longer since he had snuck through the tree with any regularity, but there were some things one never forgot. It was like riding a broomstick.

Remus hurried along the secret passageway, the Invisibility Cloak becoming dislodged and beginning to slip off of him. He barely even noticed. All he could think about was Harry - getting to him and making sure he was okay. It almost grew to consume Remus’s mind, so much so that he was hardly registering anything else.

When he finally reached the trapdoor at the end of the tunnel, Remus came to a halt, panting for breath. He had been so consumed with moving as quickly as possible, it almost hadn’t occurred to him that he had come so far so fast. He couldn’t believe he was there already, with nothing but a few measly wooden planks standing between him and Harry. And Greyback. Once again, he was about to come face to face with werewolf that wanted him dead, but Remus wasn‘t sure why that didn‘t scare him as much as he thought it should.

The Invisibility Cloak was still draped on him, but only slightly. It had fallen from his head, and was just clinging to him by the shoulders. Most of it had been trailing behind him on the ground for probably quite some time. Still gasping for breath, Remus wrapped one hand in the shimmering fabric and pulled it away, letting it drop to the ground. Invisibility Cloaks were all but useless against Greyback; the big, hulking werewolf was most likely well aware that Remus was there. Greyback relied on much more than just sight, after all, and his hearing and sense of smell were what usually tipped him off to prey.

Remus drew his wand from his pocket and reached up with his free hand, pushing the small wooden door open. It slammed into the floor of the Shrieking Shack, throwing up a cloud of dust in its wake, but Remus hardly even noticed. He crept through the opening it had revealed, his entire body tensed and ready for an attack from Greyback. On the other hand, Greyback did love to hear himself talk so maybe he’d do that first. Remus hoped so, although one never could tell with the psychotic werewolf.

It was almost pitch black in the shack, so Remus muttered a quick, “ _Lumos_.” As soon as the light burst from the end of his wand, the trapdoor banged again, only this time, it made Remus jump nearly a foot in the air. He spun around in the direction of the sound, and there he was.

Fenrir Greyback was atop the now closed trapdoor on all fours. His back was arched, his arms and legs bent, holding him close above the floor like he was ready to pounce. His teeth were bared, and they shone in the pale wand light. His eyes were narrowed, angry and calculating. He growled, a hungry and predatory sound that came from somewhere deep in his throat.

It was times like this when the fine line between Greyback’s human side and animal side became almost nonexistent. He truly looked like an animal now, with absolutely nothing left of the human side of him. This awakened a feeling inside Remus that was probably far from what Greyback had intended. Remus wasn’t scared, he wasn’t fearing for his life like he thought he should be. On the contrary, he felt nothing but pity for the animalistic creature crouched before him.

“Hello, Fenrir,” Remus greeted, keeping his wand out in front of him and pointed towards the hulking werewolf.

Greyback slunk forward, moving almost like a snake across the floorboards. With such a gigantic body, it was surprising that Greyback could move with anything resembling grace, but when he was on all fours, he did just that. He closed the distance between them, and when he was just in front of Remus, Greyback straightened up, slowly rising to his full height. When he towered over Remus, he breathed in deep, as if smelling his prey before he devoured it. “It’s been too long,” he said silkily, licking his lips.

Remus’s first instinct was to back away, but he stood his ground. Fear only made Greyback even crazier than he already was, and Remus wouldn’t let him think, even for a moment, that he was afraid.

Greyback seemed to sense this, tilting his head and regarding Remus with curiosity. “You’re not afraid?” Whether Greyback could smell it on him or just assumed Remus’s state of mind from his demeanor, it never ceased to make shivers run up Remus’s spine the way Greyback could decipher his mood in moment.

“No,” Remus said simply.

Greyback grinned, baring his yellowed teeth to Remus once again. “You should be.” He took another step forward, now almost chest to chest with Remus. “When I’m through with you, they won’t even be able to tell what species you belonged to.”

“I told you before,” Remus replied almost tiredly, “there are far worse things to fear than death.”

“I would think being torn limb from limb would be one of them.”

Remus swiftly raised his wand to Greyback’s throat with all the enthusiasm he had felt when his mother had forced him to go to the ballet when he was little. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt so listless, so bored with the idea of anything Greyback could do to him. “Before you indulge yourself…” he said slowly, fully prepared for Greyback to laugh in his face, “let Harry go.”

Greyback’s eyebrows suddenly went up in surprise. “Sorry, whatever give you the impression that I would?” 

Remus dropped his voice and tightened his grip on his wand, trying his best to sound threatening. “Harry has nothing to do with this. You wanted me. I’m the one you’re pissed off at, I’m the one you want revenge against, and I’m here.”

Greyback’s lips closed around his teeth and formed into a twisted smirk. It was shrewd, calculating, and he looked almost pleased with himself. “Oh, that’s where you’re wrong. Potter has everything in the world to do with this. At least he does now. After that night you betrayed me. Damned little pup should learn to quit poking his nose into places it doesn’t belong. You see, he _made_ this his business.”

“He had little choice in the matter!” Remus reminded sternly. “He very rarely does anymore. It was you and the rest of the Death Eaters who put him into that position in the first place.”

“You were there, too, don’t forget.” Greyback‘s voice bordered on amused.

“Oh, I haven’t forgotten,” Remus said quickly, “but don’t tell me you were expecting Harry to just turn around and walk away, leaving me behind with you just because you told him to. Because Harry wouldn’t do that. He isn’t like that. Nor am I.”

“Oh, yes,” Greyback yawned, rolling his eyes. “You all love each other, don’t you? Gag me with a shovel.”

Remus had absolutely no plan. He had run into this completely blind before he could fully understand what this or his actions would mean. All that had mattered to him then was Harry, and that was still all that mattered. It was only now beginning to occur to Remus that perhaps taking the time to organize some backup or even a plan of some sort might have been the better course of action.

But Remus could do this. He _knew_ Greyback. Remus doubted that sometimes, but even Dumbledore had told Remus that he understood the psychotic werewolf pretty well. Remus hadn’t spent two months living with him without learning anything, after all.

Remus threw his mind about for a plan of some sort, but he kept coming back to the same idea - that Greyback liked to hear himself talk. A lot. Remus knew it was cliché; it was used in nearly every single adventure and suspense book he’d ever read, but Remus decided to take advantage of it nonetheless. He didn’t know where that would lead or what he would do when Greyback decided he’d had enough talking, but right now, it was the only idea Remus had.

“At least let me see him,” Remus said calmly. He was trying desperately not to let onto the fact that the first vestiges of fear were beginning to seep into his nerves. “You said you would.”

Greyback threw his head back and laughed cruelly, which Remus had fully been expecting. “You, Lupin, need to learn some reading comprehension. I said ‘if you _wish_ to see him’. _Wish_! I never said anything about actually letting you.” Greyback backed away, tucking his thumbs into the waistband of his trousers and beginning to pace around the shack. “But I never even said he was here. You _assumed_. You know how much I abhor that.”

Remus knew very well that Harry was there. He’d felt it on his journey there, a growing sense that he was getting closer to the one he considered a son. He was very close. Remus could tell, and even though Greyback would laugh at him for it, tell how stupid he was being, Remus knew better. Knew exactly what it was he was feeling - something Greyback would never be able to understand. Remus tried to hide the smirk that was threatening to overtake his lips. “Perhaps I did,” Remus replied coolly. “But you know what really interests me? That you were able to write a coherent sentence at all.”

Greyback rounded on him, baring his teeth and growling. “I know how to read and write! I’m not stupid! You’re _assuming_ again!”

“Isn’t that a human thing?” Remus asked, pretending to be interested in the pattern of dust on the floor, like he didn’t really care one way or the other about what Greyback was saying. If it occurred to Greyback that he was doing exactly what Remus wanted him to do, he would put a stop to it and then Remus would be back at square one. “I thought you disinherited pretty much any remnants of the human world.”

“I was bitten when I was ten,” Greyback bit out. “The damage was already done. Try as I might to reverse it, humans have indelibly left their mark upon me. Besides, believe it or not, reading was what helped to keep me sane when I was in the colony.”

Remus’s eyebrows went up. He had a hard time believing Greyback was ever really sane, but he didn’t think that would be a good thing to point out. “They let you read?” That was something Remus had always wondered about. When he was little, it was never out of the realm of possibility that something would happen to his father, and then he would be doomed to life in a colony as well. One of his favorite things in the world was to read, and he thought that just might get him through if it ever came to that, but he didn’t think colonies would offer things like that.

Greyback hummed grimly. “They had an old box of books. They were all in shambles, falling apart, but most of the time, they were all I had. They didn’t like to give them to us; they didn‘t like to give us anything, but sometimes they would just to shut us up. Just like they were throwing a bone to a dog.”

That made Remus’s heart hurt. When it came right down to it, he and Greyback hadn’t been entirely different as children. They couldn’t be more different now, however. That much Remus knew. But if circumstances had been different for either one of them, even just a little, they just might have ended up very much alike.

“Don’t _presume_ to look at me with anything resembling _pity_!” Greyback snapped. “I _chose_ a colony! It was either that, or live with the mother who despised me _before_ I was bitten. You can only imagine how she felt about me afterwards. I did it to get away from her, and I don’t regret it.”

“What about your father?” The question had escaped Remus before he had even fully processed it.

Greyback glared, almost like Remus’s question was implying that Greyback’s father hadn’t done enough to prevent what happened. “My father was a wonderful man!” Greyback yelled. There was evidence of some long-buried emotion in his eyes, one that Remus hadn’t seen there before. It was as foreign to Greyback’s face as being quiet was to Sirius. “Only my mother didn’t think so. Just because their marriage didn’t work out, she decided to be vindictive. She wouldn’t let me see him anymore after that, and she even went so far as to have his parental rights stripped entirely. My father was dirt poor. He didn’t have the money to hire any kind of decent defense, and we all know how the Ministry operates. He didn‘t stand a chance.

“I haven’t seen him since-” Greyback stopped abruptly, like he was realizing he was saying too much. Finally he just mumbled, “Since around the time I was bitten.” He glared down at the floor, his jaw clenching. “I’m not even sure if he knew what had happened to me. I mean, he knew I was bitten, but I don’t know if he was ever informed that I went to a colony. My mother might have told him I died in the attack for all I know. She was persuaded by healers to do just that - to tell everyone I had died rather than admit to what I had become.”

“So were mine,” Remus said in a shaky voice, but then he forced himself to stop. It wouldn’t be a very wise idea to talk about how his parents were so much more different than Greyback’s, about how they had accepted Remus for what he was and took care of him. Just as easily, Remus thought, it all could have been so different. If his parents hadn’t been so accommodating, Remus knew very well where he could have ended up. “What about your father?” Remus asked again instead. “How did he react to you being bitten?”

Greyback narrowed his eyes. “I said he was a good man! He wasn’t prejudiced against us the way everyone else is! He wanted nothing more than to take care of me afterwards.” Greyback broke Remus’s gaze and stared off across the room, perhaps wishing death to the floorboards. “He just didn’t have that chance,” he added bitterly.

Remus felt an overwhelming wave of the very emotion that Greyback didn’t want him to feel - pity. The very idea of a young and innocent Greyback was so absurd to him, he had an impossible time trying to imagine it at all. It was like trying to picture a Harry and Sirius who weren’t reckless. Of course, Remus was now the one standing here, facing Greyback alone, so he supposed he wasn’t much different.

Shaking his head, Remus tried to direct his thoughts back many years ago, to a time when Greyback had been a little boy. If what Greyback had said was to be believed - and Remus didn’t think he’d have any reason to lie about it - then he had simply been a victim of the feud between his parents. Of his mother’s inability to put aside her scorned feelings for the best interests of her child. That wasn’t Greyback’s fault, nor was the way spending so many years in a colony had warped his mind. Greyback had suffered the consequences from his bite just as Remus had, the only difference being the way Remus’s parents had handled it.

Remus tried to imagine what Greyback might be like now if he had been as lucky as Remus had once upon a time, and he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t imagine a completely human Greyback, living a civilized life with a family like Remus. Greyback was now so twisted, so changed by things that had been out of his control, just as the bite had been. Who the hell had decided that Remus needed to have a family who handled it better? What the hell had he ever done in his first five years to deserve that? Moreover, what had Greyback possibly done in his first ten years to deserve the sentence he had gotten? Remus couldn’t quite see Greyback that way, as a young and innocent child, but he had to have been at one point. So why had things turned out so unfairly different for him? Trying to comprehend it made his head hurt.

“Then you do know what love is,” Remus observed. Greyback looked at him out of the corner of his eye, but he didn’t seem like he was completely there. It appeared that he was perhaps lost in some distant memory, in something that had happened long ago. “Or you did once. You felt it for your father, just the same as I did.”

“Perhaps I did,” Greyback said absently, but almost as quickly, his expression hardened. Lost again to the animalistic urges that had grown to consume him. “It was humans who crushed it out of me. Forced me to become what I am. I couldn’t survive any other way. Couldn‘t survive the horrors they put me through in that colony.”

Remus hoped he wasn’t taking too much of a chance with his next tactic, but he knew he had to try. Harry’s life still depended on it, depended on Remus to get them both out of this. “Harry’s not that much different than we are, you know,” Remus tried. “He didn’t want all this. Didn’t want to be the focus of the wizarding world. He was swept up in circumstances that were beyond his control, the same way we both were. All he wants is to have a normal life with people that love him. Wouldn’t you have given anything to have that once, too?”

Greyback tilted his head to the side, regarding him with something akin to surprise. “Oh, Lupin.” He laughed, but this time, it was a breathless and amused sound. He started stalking closer to Remus. “Trying to play on my sympathies, hm?” He invaded Remus’s personal space once again, towering over him like he had before. “I’m not that same person anymore. My father’s been dead for quite some time. A victim like we all were, as you so eloquently implied. But you know what? _I’m_ not a victim, and I resent you implying that I am! I never would have ended up this way if _I_ hadn’t chosen certain things, and I told you, I don’t regret it! Not one bit of it. I’m not _ashamed_ of what I’ve become. I’m not _sorry_. It’s you humans who should be ashamed. Ashamed of the vices you’re all controlled by.

“I’m sure you ran straight home after you left me to bathe, didn’t you?” Greyback asked mockingly. “To get a _normal_ meal? To sleep in a nice warm _human_ bed? To be coddled by those you _love_?” He snorted loudly. “ _Love_. You think it’s some powerful emotion that can save you from anything.” Before Remus could process what was happening, Greyback’s hand shot out, colliding with Remus’s and knocking his wand into the air.

Remus sucked in a breath, watching his wand arc across the room to clatter onto the floor in a cloud of dust. He had let his guard down. He had gotten so used to Greyback talking, he hadn’t exactly been expecting him to actually _do_ anything.

While Remus was still caught off guard, Greyback slammed both of his palms into Remus’s chest. He knocked him back harshly, and Remus lost his footing, stumbling. For a precarious moment, he thought for sure he was going down, that Greyback would pounce on him and devour him liked he’d wanted to do this entire time. But Remus’s back and head met with the wall of the shack, sending aching waves throughout his upper body. He opened his mouth, but contained the urge to cry out in pain, slightly grateful to the wall for keeping him upright. If Greyback had been able to pin him to the floor, Remus knew he’d never be able to escape the hulking werewolf. Greyback was simply much too big, much too strong, and he would have had gravity to assist him as well. Remus thought had still had a chance as long as he was on his feet; after all, he had already gotten away from Greyback like that once before. He just needed to do it again. Just one more time.

Before Remus’s mind could even think that far ahead, however, Greyback’s hand was around his throat, pressing his head painfully into the wall. He didn’t cut off Remus’s airway completely, but he put enough pressure on it so that every breath in and out was a struggle. Remus froze; Greyback was much stronger than he was, and Remus was afraid he wouldn’t have enough oxygen if he exerted any kind of physical activity and didn‘t manage to escape.

“I’ve got to stop underestimating you, haven’t I?” Greyback snarled into Remus’s face, his breath as putrid as ever. “Allowing you to run your mouth, thinking I’ll have some miraculous change of heart and let you go? Go home with your _family_?” Greyback paused for a moment, appearing deep in thought. “What’s that expression? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. No more of that. This ends here, right now. I summoned you here for one reason and one reason only. To show you what happens when insubordinate pups cross me.” Greyback drew ever closer, whispering in Remus’s ear like was sharing a private secret. “Where‘s your love to save you now?”

Greyback opened his mouth wide, his teeth glinting in the dimly lit room. His eyes were crazed. There was absolutely nothing left in them of the almost human Remus had been talking to only mere moments before. That part of him was gone, replaced by the animal that resided within. The animal that was interested in one thing - its meal.

Remus tried with all his might to throw Greyback off, but he was so weak. He clearly wasn’t getting enough oxygen, and his limbs suddenly felt like they weighed a thousand pounds and Greyback might as have weighed a ton. Even Remus’s vision was beginning to grow fuzzy, little black specs clouding into the edges of his eyes. Remus couldn’t think straight, couldn’t even come up with a coherent plan of action. The only thought that plagued his oxygen-deprived brain was the fact that he was about to have his throat ripped out, and he had willingly walked right into it.

~~~~~~~~~~

When Sirius woke up, he sat up very groggily, rubbing at his eyes. He noticed that Remus wasn’t seated across from him any longer, and he quietly called, “Moony?” Sirius glanced around the Great Hall for his best friend, but he didn’t appear to be there. A group of Order members was still gathered around one of the tables, talking in hushed tones, but Remus didn’t seem to be among them.

Sirius didn’t think anything of it at first. He simply yawed and propped his chin up in one hand, assuming Remus was just in the loo or that he‘d gone for a walk. He’d be back momentarily.

Sirius kept running his hand over his face, almost wishing he could go back to sleep. There had been a moment there, right when he’d woken up, that he had completely forgotten that Harry was missing. It had been a very brief but peaceful second when nothing was wrong with the world. And then the cold reality hit him like a punch in the stomach. But Sirius couldn’t go back to sleep! He shouldn’t even have been asleep in the first place! He should be out there, looking for Harry. Not sleeping!

As soon as Remus came back, Sirius was determined that they would both return to the search. Remus might try to change his mind, but Sirius wouldn’t take no for an answer. He had spent enough time resting. Harry needed him, damn it, and he wasn’t going to rest again until his godson was safe.

But the longer Sirius waited, the more concerned he became that something was very wrong. The brick that had been in his stomach all day grew even bigger, making him feel positively queasy. He was sorry he had eaten anything. Sirius tried to tell himself that he was being silly, that perhaps Remus had just gone home for something or other. There was no reason to think Remus had met with foul play, too. That was absurd. Sirius didn’t think there was any safer place than Hogwarts at the moment with all of the Order members about. Besides, Remus was more than capable of taking care of himself.

Remus probably just hadn’t wanted to wake Sirius up once he had dozed off, but something didn’t sit well with Sirius. Considering the circumstances, he doubted very much that Remus would just leave without saying anything. Sirius was already having a heart attack; he didn’t need his best friend disappearing too, even for a moment, to make it worse. Remus wouldn’t do that on purpose. Not now.

Sirius kept checking his watch and still Remus didn’t return. When it began nearing a half an hour since he had awoken, Sirius got to his feet, determined to hunt his best friend down and give him a piece of his mind for making him worry. And then he saw it.

Sirius thought it strange that it hadn’t caught his eye before. The bright white piece of parchment against the dark wood of the tabletop was hard to miss. Sirius couldn’t quite make out the sloppy lettering from his vantage point, but he knew right away it wasn’t good. The very sight of it made his insides crawl and his legs begin to shake.

Reaching out a trembling hand, Sirius snatched up the note and brought it to his chest. He read through it, his heart pounding and his breathing growing even more frantic with every single word. His fingers clenched into the parchment, wrinkling it even more than it already was. Then and there, Sirius swore to himself that if anything at all happened to either of his two favorite people, he was going to kill Greyback. Sirius didn’t even care about being a murderer anymore, didn’t care about what it would mean for him. Remus and Harry were all that mattered, and Sirius would make Greyback pay dearly for it if he had to.

Almost instinctively, Sirius dropped his right hand to the table, reaching out for the Invisibility Cloak where he’d left it. He felt like he was in a daze, unable to even register much of what was going on around him; he was basically functioning on pure impulse now. But the cloak wasn’t there. His palm fell flat against the cold and hard surface of the table.

His eyes closed, and he tried desperately to swallow away the painful lump that had formed in his throat. He silently prayed that Remus wasn’t doing anything foolish before he screamed, “MOONY!” at the top of his lungs. Sirius tore from the Great Hall, well aware that the other Order members were staring after him, but he didn’t care. Sirius also knew that Remus was probably already well out of earshot by then, but his best friend’s nickname had almost been torn from his throat against his will. It was more like a cry of anguish than of actually calling for him.

“Sirius?” some of the Order members called after him, but Sirius didn’t stop. He wouldn’t waste one more second where the lives of his best friend and his godson were concerned. He only hoped he wasn’t too late.

_To be continued…_


	5. Redemption

Remus waited for the impending sensation of Greyback’s teeth sinking into his skin, trying to brace himself for the pain that was to come. As Greyback drew closer, he pressed his hand even harder against Remus’s throat, eventually cutting off his airway completely. Remus opened his mouth, trying desperately to suck in another breath, but nothing came.

In the end, he was glad, because Remus began to feel like he was in a dream. His vision grew darker by the minute, and nothing felt quite right or real. At least it would help to numb the pain a bit when Greyback finally decided to put him out of his misery. Perhaps Remus would even lose consciousness before Greyback got too far into his meal, and Remus wouldn’t feel much of anything at all. He prayed for that.

His only regret was that Harry was still out there, all alone and depending on someone to find him. That made Remus’s heart hurt, that he had set out to save Harry, and he had only succeeded in making things worse. In letting Harry down. In making things harder for Sirius. That thought should have been enough to spur Remus on to get out of this; after all, it had saved him once before, but he was just so weak. Even all the desire in the world to get out of this and put things right wasn’t enough to counteract the damage Greyback was already inflicting on him by depriving him of air.

It seemed that Greyback had learned from his mistakes after allowing Remus to escape once before by using wandless magic. As it was, Remus could barely even remember the names of the spells, much less use his voice to speak it. Greyback had cut off every single last one of his options and now he was going to get exactly what he had wanted this entire time - to teach Remus a lesson. Remus’s last thought was one of regret for getting Harry tied up in this at all. If Remus had known where things were going to end up, he would have willingly gone to Greyback himself before he decided to use Harry as bait. Anything to save Harry. Always anything for Harry.

A tear escaped from Remus’s right eye, and he could feel it falling down his cheek, stopping when it reached Greyback’s finger. The trail it left was cool and somehow more real and more there than anything else he was feeling at the moment. Remus thought it was the last tear he would ever shed, the last emotion he would ever feel, because he didn’t see any way out of this. Not now. He simply waited for Greyback to do with him what he wanted.

But then somewhere, Remus heard something. A muffled bang that Remus couldn’t quite place, one that he thought should be louder than it was. He currently felt like he was behind some sort of veil that was dulling his senses. He thought he opened his eyes, but everything was mostly black with a strange and muted swirl of colors. It was similar to what he saw when he closed his eyes, the way images took a while to fade behind closed eyelids, so he couldn’t quite tell whether they were open or not.

There were voices, but they were completely unintelligible and unrecognizable to him. He had been without air for far too long. Nothing made sense to him anymore. He couldn’t even tell if Greyback had started to eat him yet, because Remus couldn’t feel much of anything anymore.

A moment later, the sensation of falling suddenly hit Remus, but it only last for a few short seconds. He was sure that that must be what dying felt like, but then it miraculously stopped. Remus landed hard on something, and then he realized that he could breathe again. He noisily sucked in mouthful after mouthful of air. His throat was killing him, like someone had shoved a bunch of broken glass through it, but he didn’t care. All that mattered to him was glorious air.

The room around him was a mess of chaos as it reformed - more voices that he couldn’t understand and perhaps the sound of a scuffle going on. Remus couldn’t quite tell, but slowly things began to make sense to him again. The blackness had receded from his vision enough for him to begin making out distinct shapes again. He blinked several times, trying to help it along, and then he realized that Sirius was there. For a moment, Remus couldn’t quite believe it; in fact, he almost started to think he must have died and gone to heaven.

“MOONY!”

Remus blinked and gulped in some more air, still trying to make sense out of everything. And then it finally occurred to him that he was seated on the floor of the shack with his back pressed up against the wall. Incredibly, just in front of him was Sirius, crouching down now and placing a hand on Remus’s shoulder. It was something Remus had thought he would never see again.

“Are you okay?”

This time, Sirius’s voice made complete sense to him. Everything made sense to him. Another tear leaked out of Remus’s eye, but this time it was one of relief instead of hopelessness. Remus wasn’t even sure where the hell Greyback currently was, nor did he even care. The demented werewolf was the furthest thought from Remus’s mind. The only thing that kept rushing through his head was that he was alive. He was breathing. He hadn’t left Harry or Sirius behind just yet.

Slowly, Remus’s hand went up to his throat. For a moment, he was sure that he would feel find the area wet with blood soaking into the collar of his shirt. That Greyback had already taken a bite or two out of him. Other than his sore throat, Remus didn’t feel any pain there indicating that his skin had been split open, but perhaps he was just too disoriented for it to register. But there was nothing there. He was a bit sweaty after his struggle with Greyback, but otherwise, his hand came away clean.

His throat still too sore to speak, Remus nodded. Having gotten enough air, Remus shut his mouth and swallowed several times, trying to work up enough saliva to moisten his throat. He closed his eyes again and rested his head against the wall behind him, trying to recover from what had been near-death.

"In that case,” Sirius exclaimed, “what in the HELL is WRONG with you?!"

Remus blinked. When he had been fearing for his life only moments before, Remus hadn’t exactly been expecting Sirius to yell at him.

Sirius straightened up. “You leave without a word to me - which gave me a heart attack by the way - to chase after a psychotic maniac on your own!” Sirius used his wand to gesture behind him to where Remus now realized Greyback was laying on the floor in a crumpled heap. He was stirring slightly, but before Remus could say anything, Sirius asked, “Are you NUTS?! You almost got yourself KILLED!”

Rather than answer any of Sirius’s questions, Remus asked, “How’d you know where I was?” His voice came out a gravelly and rough sounding.

With his free hand, Sirius reached into his pocket and produced the note from Greyback. He held it out for Remus to see, who closed his eyes. Greyback had told him to come on his own, and Remus was caught somewhere between relief for his own life and fear that leaving the note behind could have had negative consequences for Harry. _You must be alone if you wish to see him alive again_ , was what Greyback had written, after all. It hadn’t even occurred to Remus that he _had_ left the note behind. He had been so out of his mind with anger and terror at the time, he hadn’t even registered half of what he was doing.

Remus, however, very well knew that would have been dead if Sirius hadn’t come. That Greyback very well might be feasting on him at this very moment. And here he was, whole and in one piece, if only a little worse for wear. Remus’s eyes went up to Sirius’s, then back down to the floor. He felt his cheeks burn red in embarrasment.

“I’m sorry,” was all Remus could think of to say. “I thought…I could do it on my own. Come put Greyback in his place and bring Harry back to you before you even woke.” He met his best friend’s eyes again. “I wanted to be there waiting with him when you woke up. Like your dream might have been coming true, because I know that‘s what was going through your mind as you slept. I keep imagining the look on your face…you would have been so happy.”

Sirius pressed his lips together, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “Moony…” Sirius bent his knees and crouched down so that he was at Remus’s eye level again. His hand found Remus’s shoulder again, gripping it tightly, and he said, “You and Harry are the two most important things in this world to me. Yes, I want to see Harry again so badly I can taste it, but I need you, too. I would have _died_ if something had happened to you, especially while I was _sleeping_. If I woke up and realized I’d never see you again…I don’t know what I would have done. I need you. Like I need air to breathe. When I don’t know what’s going on with you, when I don’t know whether you’re safe or not, that’s exactly how I feel - like I’m without oxygen, just like you were a minute ago.” He gave Remus’s shoulder a gentle nudge. “Whenever things like this happen, I want you to tell me. I want to know so I can keep an eye on you! I know you can take care of yourself, but I want to do whatever I can to help, if only in some small way. You’re far too important to me to let you go off chasing after Death Eaters by yourself.”

Remus smiled, the first one since this entire ordeal had begun…had it only been that morning? It already seemed so much longer than that. Like a lifetime, and he knew that was how Sirius felt - that without Harry, things seemed to drag on forever. Without any one of them, the other two would be caught up in some kind of cruel limbo. That was how things had been for Remus all those years Sirius had been in Azkaban, and he knew things hadn’t been much better for Harry either. How foolish Remus had been to risk subjecting his best friend to the very thing that had nearly destroyed him.

But it made Remus feel slightly better to hear Sirius’s words - that he was important. Remus knew he was, but sometimes he just needed to be told. Especially now, when he primarily held himself responsible for Harry’s current predicament. “I know,” Remus sighed.

Sirius tightened his hand on Remus’s shoulder and then tugged it forward. He pulled Remus into his arms, hugging him perhaps more tightly than he ever had in his life.

“Don’t you _ever_ do that to me again,” Sirius warned quietly. “I think I may just have to kill you if you do.”

Remus let out a breathless laugh, pulling away. “No, you wouldn’t,” Remus said knowledgeably, “because you’d die without me.”

“Yeah, well,” Sirius agreed, “just stop running off anyway, okay? It’s not good for my health. Between you and Harry, I‘m liable to end up in the hospital.”

The mention of Harry’s name immediately seemed to remind them of why they were there. It cut into the room like a knife, spoiling any good feelings that had begun to resurface. Both of their expressions turned grim, and they fell into silence.

Finally, Sirius held out a hand, which Remus took. “Can you stand?” Sirius asked.

Remus nodded and said, “I think so.” Sirius stood and pulled on Remus’s hand gently, helping him to his feet. Remus went slowly at first, still feeling a bit tired from everything that had happened, but it wasn‘t unlike waking up after a transformation, something he was all too familiar with. He held onto the wall for a minute, getting his bearings. Then Remus ran a hand through his hair and glanced around for his wand, spotting it laying on the floor about ten feet away. He grabbed it up, Sirius watching him like a hawk the entire time.

“I’m all right,” Remus said reassuringly.

Sirius stared at him for a few more seconds before returning his attention to Greyback. The hulking werewolf was still in a lump on the floor, although he had managed to turn over onto his back. He had a hand pressed to his forehead, and his eyes were swiveling around in their sockets like he was disoriented. Remus noticed he had a streak of blood dripping down the left side of his head.

“What did you do to him?” Remus asked. Other than the damage Remus had done to him the last time he left the pack, he had never seen Greyback in such a state.

“Nothing!” Sirius cried, holding up his hands. “I cast a Reducto spell as a distraction when I came in.” He gestured up towards the ceiling with his wand, indicating the missing chunks of wood that must have fallen prey to the spell. “I must have overdone it a bit.”

Remus realized that there were indeed broken and splintered pieces of wood on the floor around Greyback. A rather large portion must have hit him in just the right place to hinder him for a while.

“I HATE that spell!” Greyback roared, stomping the heel of one his boots into the floor in frustration.

“You hate every spell, don’t you?” Sirius asked.

“That spell in particular is a sore spot for him right now, I think,” Remus explained. “It was the one I used the last time Harry and I got away from him.”

Sirius approached Greyback, looming over him and aiming his wand downwards. “Speaking of Harry,” Sirius asked, “where is he?”

Greyback lowered his hand so he could see Sirius better, a smirk growing on his face. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Oh,” Sirius growled, sounding a bit too much like Greyback for comfort, “you are _hardly_ in a position to be _smart_.” Sirius lifted one of his feet off the ground and swung it, the toe of his shoe connecting with the left side of Greyback’s stomach.

Greyback’s eyes squeezed shut and his mouth opened in a silent scream. Remus knew he most likely had a high tolerance for pain and wasn’t one to start screaming every time he was injured. It was a survival instinct that Greyback had probably developed over the years; showing any kind of weakness to other animals only endangered oneself further. Greyback’s hands flew to his abdomen, pressing them against his stomach. He turned over a bit onto his right side, trying to get away from Sirius if he chose to attack again.

“Padfoot!” Remus cried, grabbing onto Sirius’s arm to try and stop him. Yes, this had all been Greyback’s doing and he needed to be held responsible for it, but they already had him in a vulnerable position. There was no need to torture the poor bastard. They weren’t like him, after all.

Sirius shook off Remus’s hand, continuing to keep his wand aimed at Greyback. “You’d best answer me,” Sirius demanded, “before I do something to you that _can’t_ be fixed.”

“Go to hell,” Greyback muttered, not even bothering to look at him. “You think I’d tell you after that? _Really_? Besides, I never even said he was here. He could be long gone. I might have handed him over to the Dark Lord for all you know.”

Sirius looked livid. He lifted his foot off the floor again and drew it back, attempting to kick Greyback once more, this time in the back. Remus, however, grabbed onto Sirius’s arm and yanked it back, causing Sirius to drop his foot and stumble a bit.

“Sirius,” Remus said firmly, “don’t let him rile you up. The _last_ think he would do is something to help _Voldemort_.” He took pleasure in saying the name and watching Greyback flinch away from it. “He only does things when there’s something in it for him. I don’t need him to tell me anyway. I know Harry is here.” Sirius looked at Remus like he was absolutely insane.

Now that Sirius was out of striking range, Greyback rolled over onto his back again. “You don’t know half as much as you think you do,” Greyback laughed snidely.

Remus crossed his arms over his chest, smirking. “I know a lot more than you give me credit for. I wouldn’t expect you to understand it. You see, Harry’s in my pack.” Greyback opened his mouth to interject, but Remus kept on talking. “Not a pack like yours. Not even close. Those are your…minions. The kind of pack I’m speaking of is born out of love. When you feel such a close connection with someone, they become like your family and you can feel the things that they feel.” Greyback appeared to be on the verge of hysterical laughter, which Remus had fully expected, but it didn’t deter him. He knew full well that he spoke the truth; ever since he’d entered the shack, Remus had been feeling more and more that Harry was very close. It was almost like there was a compass inside him now, pointing him in the right direction. “It’s something you’d never be able to experience and yes, I pity you for that.”

“I don’t need your pity!” Greyback snarled, trying his best to get up into a sitting position. He struggled for a moment, and Sirius raised his wand towards him again, ready to open fire. Once he was upright, Greyback stopped, glaring at the both of them. “I don‘t regret the path I‘ve chosen one bit!”

“Go find Harry,” Remus told Sirius, placing a hand on his arm once more. “I’ll take care of this.”

“Oh, no,” Sirius replied in a tone that suggested the idea was absolutely absurd. “I am not leaving you alone with this lunatic. Not again.”

“I wouldn’t either,” Greyback agreed. “Can’t leave him alone for a minute.”

“I have this, Sirius,” Remus insisted, his voice leaving no room for argument. He narrowed his eyes and tightened his fingers around his wand, keeping it trained on Greyback. “Go. I know you want nothing more than to see him.”

Sirius lowered his own wand and turned toward Remus, tilting his head. “Moony…”

“I’ll be fine,” Remus interrupted. “You need to make sure Harry’s okay. The sooner we can get him help if he needs it. I’m sure he’s dying to see you anyway. He hasn‘t seen a friendly face in nearly twenty-four hours.”

There was something in Remus’s voice that scared Sirius. It sounded almost dead in a way, but Sirius couldn’t exactly argue with the fact that they did need to make sure Harry wasn’t in any immediate danger. Perhaps Remus would be okay, just for a moment. Sirius was still reluctant to go, but he couldn’t help the almost overpowering sensation that seemed to be pulling him towards the stairs. Was his godson really in the same building, just a short distance away? It made a lump rise up in Sirius’s throat, but it was almost a welcome feeling. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around his godson in that very moment, to make sure he was safe, and if Remus was right, he could be doing so in a matter of seconds.

Sirius took a few hesitant steps towards the staircase, watching Remus closely as he went. “He does _anything_ to you, give me a shout. I’ll be down in a second to put him out of his misery once and for all.”

“You don’t have it in you,” Greyback taunted. “You’re all too soft. Makes me sick.”

Ignoring Greyback, Remus glanced at Sirius one last time and smiled the tiniest bit. “Trust me.”

Sirius took that as confirmation that Remus would be okay. Sirius nodded, turned on his heel, and took the steps two at a time, leaving Remus alone with Greyback once more.

Remus stalked towards Greyback, keeping his wand out in front of him. At the same time, he was careful to keep a safe distance between them in case Greyback decided to attack him again. “You may not think so,” Remus barked, “but I _do_ have it in me. I am _sick and tired_ of you interfering in my life, of you trying to exact your revenge on me by hurting my family. I’m not going to be able to rest until you are gone from this earth. I know that now.”

Greyback looked amused. “You’re not going to kill me. I told you you’re too soft. These humans have coddled you too much. You have _no_ idea what it takes to actually _kill_ someone.” Greyback climbed to his feet, and Remus had almost forgotten how much grace he could move with. The giant werewolf had almost looked like a beached whale, flailing around on the floor, but sometimes he moved with the agility of the animal he was. “You can’t have any fear, any reservations that you’re doing the wrong thing. You just have to act, not think, and I know you don‘t have that in you. You worry way too much about everyone else and not enough about yourself to be able to do it.”

Remus knew better than to let Greyback get too close to him this time. Before Greyback could take another step forward, Remus flicked his wand and said, “ _Incarcerous_.”

Ropes shot forth from the end of Remus’s wand, curling around Greyback’s massive figure. He tried to throw his arms out, attempting to escape the ropes, but they quickly wound themselves around him regardless. His arms were bound to his sides and his legs to tied together. The inertia of his gait caused him to suddenly lean forward, and he toppled over, landing facedown on the floor with a loud _thud_.

Remus placed the toe of one of his shoes against Greyback’s shoulder and used it to force Greyback to roll over. Once he was on his back, Remus saw that Greyback was shaking with uncontrollable laughter. He had tears streaming from his eyes, and he barely managed to say, “I told you you couldn’t do it. You _don’t_ have it in you to be a cold-blooded killer. Not like me, and I pity _you_ for that.” He continued to laugh, a cruel and ugly sound.

His chest heaving with anger, Remus squeezed the handle of his wand so tightly, his knuckles began to turn white. His other hand formed into a fist, his fingernails digging painfully into his palm, but he barely noticed. Everything he had been through in the last few months collected in his mind, fueling the fire that had erupted inside him. His hands began to shake with the absolute fury that was coursing through his veins. For a very precarious moment, Remus almost thought he could feel the words forming on his tongue, could even imagine the green light sprouting from his wand. He really thought he could do it, that he would become a murderer. The things he was feeling were surely more than sufficient for the spell to work. Just two little words, and Fenrir Greyback would never be able to hurt anyone ever again.

When Remus opened his mouth, “ _Petrificus Totalus_ ,” was what he said instead. Greyback froze in mid laugh, his mouth stuck in a repulsive grin, the tears on his cheeks transforming into little drops of ice. “No,” Remus said around a heavy breath, like he was commanding himself not to do anything rash. “You‘re right. I’m _not_ like you. I never will be.”

Barely sparing him another look, Remus turned and followed Sirius’s previous trail up the stairs. There was someone else much more important who required his attention.

~~~~~~~~~~

When Sirius got to the door of the master bedroom, he paused, silently praying that Harry would be there. He had already checked the other two bedrooms, and they had proved to be empty, his heart sinking lower in his chest with every door he opened. This was the last one, and if he didn’t find Harry, Sirius thought he might just lose it. Remus had been so positive Harry was there, and Sirius wasn’t sure what they would do if he was wrong. It had already occurred to Sirius that Remus might have done something irreversible to Greyback, and in that case, they might never find Harry. He could be anywhere, and they’d have no way of knowing.

But Sirius supposed he should find out for sure before he sent his mind off in a million different directions. He closed his eyes and turned the doorknob, his heart suddenly leaping up to lodge in his throat. He didn’t know if he could handle finding another empty room. He just didn’t. He slowly pushed the door open, his eyes still closed, not wanting to know for sure. As long as he didn’t look, he could still hope that Harry was just there on the other side. Sirius squeezed the doorknob so tightly it became slightly painful, the metal pressing uncomfortably into his palm.

And then his unasked question was answered. He heard it - a very quiet and muffled cry, but he knew beyond a doubt who it belonged to.

Sirius sucked in a breath and opened his eyes, his heart about to pound out of his chest. Harry was there, tied spread-eagled to the bed, each of his limbs bound to a bedpost. There was a thin scrap of white cloth tied around his neck and passing in between his lips, serving as a gag to keep him from screaming too loudly. He appeared to be a bit bruised and bloody, but he was still very much alive. Harry had lifted his head from the mattress, his eyes wide and afraid behind his glasses, doing his best to form words around the piece of fabric in his mouth.

A wave of emotions swept over Sirius, his bottom lip beginning to quiver with the weight of it all. “ _Harry_.” His voice barely came out above a whisper. Sirius almost felt like simply breaking down then and there, like collapsing to the floor and letting out every single emotion he had been feeling during the course of the day, but his godson obviously needed his attention. Sirius quickly crossed the floor to him on shaky legs, reaching out a hand to pull the gag from Harry’s mouth.

Harry shook his head away from it and opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, trying to replace the saliva that the cloth had been robbing from him. Finally, he whispered, “ _Sirius_ ,” his voice very tired, weak, and dry. “How’d you find me?”

“It’s a long story-” Sirius said, but then he paused. He trusted Remus implicitly, and if Remus said Harry was here, then Sirius believed him, but he knew he had to check. Remus would probably kill him if he didn’t. Sirius took a small step backward, raising his wand. “What was the first meal the three of us ate together after Moony came back from living with the werewolves?”

For the briefest moment, Harry blinked in confusion, causing Sirius’s heart to begin its downward descent towards his stomach again. Sirius really wished it would stop doing that. He kept joking about it, but he really thought he might have a heart attack one of these days. Then suddenly, the bewilderment in Harry’s eyes faded and was immediately replaced with certainty. “Roast beef sandwiches,” Harry replied firmly, a small smile forming on his lips. “With cheese. And chips. And cheese on those, too. And you picked a hell of a question, because I barely remember what I ate last week.”

Sirius let his wand drop to his side, overcome with an intense wave of emotions again. It was everything he could do to remain standing, his legs were wobbling so violently with excitement. “It was the first thing that came to my mind, and you know I had to check,” he said around a breathless laugh. Heavily, he sat down on the edge of the mattress, reaching up untie each of Harry’s hands. As soon as he was freed, Harry thrust himself up and against Sirius’s chest. He wrapped his arms around his godfather’s middle, squeezing him so tightly, it almost cut off Sirius’s ability to breathe. Sirius, however, didn’t care. He hugged Harry just as tightly to him, pressing his nose against Harry’s hair which was damp with sweat. Harry shook against him, sobs beginning to escape from his throat.

“It’s okay,” Sirius soothed, pressing a calming hand to Harry’s head. “I’m here now.”

Harry pulled away slightly, looking up at his godfather with tear-filled eyes. “I thought I’d never see you again. I wandered off when I wasn’t supposed to. Greyback was on the grounds waiting for me, all because he wanted revenge against Remus, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone off like that, I shouldn’t have been-”

“Shhh,” Sirius cut him off gently, “it doesn’t matter.” He pulled Harry against him again, hugging him even more tightly than he had before. “Oh, you’re not off the hook, but we’ll talk about that later. What’s important is that you’re safe now.” Sirius had begun rocking his godson in an effort to calm him, but then he stopped. He held Harry out at arms’ length, looking him over. “You are safe, aren’t you? He didn’t hurt you in anyway that needs attention, did he?”

Harry shook his head. “Just this,” he said, his hand going up to his chest, where the front his sweatshirt was torn to shreds and bloody. Then his hand went to the left side of his head. There was a bruise forming around the outer edge of his left eye, and there was dried blood plastered on his skin and in his hair. “And I got this when he attacked me. I fell and hit it on a rock or something. But I’m okay.”

“You’re sure?” Sirius asked sharply, his hand going up to inspect the damage to Harry’s head. Harry flinched away from the touch in pain, but he nodded. “We should probably have that looked at,” Sirius said, “but at least you’re awake and coherent. I think I would have had a heart attack if I found you in here unconscious.”

“I did pass out for a while after I hit my head,” Harry explained, squinting his eyes in thought. “I don’t even really remember much about it, and the next thing I knew, I woke up here. Actually…I’m surprised I woke up at all, because I thought for sure he was going to eat me.”

Sirius’s face paled. “ _Don’t_ put thoughts like that in my head. Not now. I’m still recovering from this entire ordeal for Merlin’s sake.”

Harry snickered. “Sorry.” Then he frowned. “How long was I gone?”

“We found out his morning, so you must have wandered off last night.”

Harry looked confused. “Only a day?” When Sirius nodded, Harry said, “I didn’t know how long I had been unconscious, so I lost track of time. It seemed a lot longer than that.” He snorted. “I guess being tied to a bed by a Death Eater will have that effect on you.”

“It felt like a lifetime to me, too, believe me. I’m lost without you,” Sirius said, glancing up and down Harry’s body one more time. “You’re _sure_ you’re okay?”

Harry gave one simple but firm nod. “Positive.” A cry suddenly escaped him, his eyes filling with tears anew. “I am now that you’re here.” He pressed his face into his godfather’s robes, feeling very much like a small and frightened child, but not caring.

Sirius pressed a kiss to the top of his head, but then Harry pulled away and asked, “What about Remus? Is he…?”

“He’s here,” Sirius began. He had fully intended on elaborating further, but he forced himself to stop. He really didn’t want to voice what he thought might have been going on downstairs at that moment. But then a voice came from the doorway, interrupting his thoughts.

“Indeed I am,” Remus said, causing both Sirius and Harry to glance up. Remus hurried over to the bed, stopping just at the foot of it. “Did you…?” he began to ask Sirius. He didn’t finish, but he didn’t need to; Sirius always knew what he was thinking.

“It’s him,” Sirius reassured, “I checked.”

Remus let out a deep and cleansing breath, one he wasn’t aware he’d been holding. In that moment, all the weight that had built up on his shoulders over nearly the last twenty-four hours seemed to dissipate. He no longer felt like he was supporting a ton, like he had to stay strong for Sirius, and he felt his body almost sag at the relief that flooded through him. Harry was here, and he was safe. For now, things were okay again. His family was okay.

Dropping down on the other side of the mattress, Remus pulled Harry into a firm embrace, squeezing him against his chest. Harry buried his nose into the front of Remus’s robes, always feeling comforted by their softness. Sirius reached up a hand to Harry’s head, pushing some of his hair out of his face, and for the first time in a long time, Harry felt completely safe again.

“Are you okay?” This time, it was Remus’s turn to ask.

Harry nodded against Remus’s chest, and when he spoke again, his voice was muffled against the fabric. “Yeah. Just a few bruises, but I’m okay. Sirius already gave me the third degree, too, don‘t worry.”

“Oh, you’re not done yet, young man,” Sirius warned, but then he turned his attention toward Remus. “What about Greyback? You didn’t…?” He didn’t need to finish the question; they had both been well aware of what Remus had intended to do.

Remus almost laughed. The idea seemed so ludicrous now. Just a few moments ago, he seriously thought he had been on the brink of killing Greyback, but now, he couldn’t imagine ever actually bringing about the end of someone’s life. Even someone as awful as Greyback. He just couldn’t. It wasn’t his place to decide. What had come over him that he ever thought he could? That wasn’t him, but he could only assume that the feeling was born out of absolute fear for a member of his family. “I didn’t kill him. As someone told me not very long ago, he isn’t worth becoming a murderer over. I didn’t even hurt him. He‘s just downstairs, tied up and in a full body bind.”

At Remus’s reassurances, Sirius had relaxed a bit and then set about untying Harry’s ankles from the foot of the bed. “No,” Sirius agreed, pulling the ties loose, “he isn’t worth it. He isn’t worth much of anything.” When he had finished, he turned back to the two most important people on the face of the earth to him. “So let’s stop talking about the bastard, because he’s irrelevant.”

Without warning, Sirius reached out and wrapped his arms around Remus’s shoulders, drawing both him and Harry closer. Harry was, in effect, crushed in between the weight of both Remus and Sirius, the three of them hugging clumsily. Harry didn’t care. He just buried his face deeper into Remus’s robes, reveling in the feeling of being sandwiched in between his two godparents. Harry suddenly thought of the cream filling in a cookie, and that thought made him smile; he wouldn’t have rather been any other place in the world.

_To be continued…_


	6. Keep Calm and Carry On

Several hours later, Harry stepped out of the fireplace and into the kitchen of number twelve, Grimmauld Place, closely followed by his godparents. Just the sight of it, what he now considered his home, made tears well up in his eyes, and he took a deep breath in an attempt to quell them. There had been many times over the last twenty-four hours when he had convinced himself he’d never see this place again, and it still almost didn’t seem real to him. He quickly crossed the room to the table, pressing a hand to the surface. Harry had just wanted to touch something, to feel it firm and hard underneath his fingertips, to make sure that he was really home and that this wasn’t all a dream.

As soon as Sirius was out of the fire, he rushed over to Harry. Sirius was carrying the Invisibility Cloak in his arms which he promptly set down on the table before gripping his godson’s shoulders firmly. “What is it?” Sirius asked. “Are you feeling faint?! Should you lay down?!”

“What?” Harry asked, his face crinkling up in confusion. “No, I’m fine.”

“’Cause you rushed over here so quickly,” Sirius explained, pressing a hand to Harry’s forehead. “I thought you might be feeling sick.”

“Sirius,” Harry said, grabbing his godfather’s wrist and pulling it away. “What are you checking for? I’m not sick, I don’t have a fever.”

“I know, I just-”

“He said he’s fine, Padfoot,” Remus said, appearing out of the fire next. “Madam Pomfrey said we’re both fine.”

They had already been to the hospital wing at Hogwarts, and Sirius had insisted that both Remus and Harry be checked over. Harry had been a bit dehydrated, and he’d received a Replenishing Potion while Madam Pomfrey healed his injuries. Remus had been adamant that there wasn’t anything wrong with him, but he’d submitted to an exam just to shut his best friend up. Indeed, Madam Pomfrey hadn’t been able to find anything that was cause for concern, but she did give him a Painkilling Potion for his throat. Although he wouldn’t admit it, Remus was grateful for it in the end, because Greyback had really done a number on it when he’d tried to strangle him.

Even though she said there most likely weren’t going to be any further problems for either of them, Madam Pomfrey had suggested keeping both Remus and Harry in the hospital wing overnight for observation. Neither Harry nor Remus, however, was very happy with this idea, insisting they’d be much more comfortable to rest at home. Eventually, Sirius had agreed with them, but Remus really wasn’t sure why, because he’d been freaking out the entire way home.

Remus knew Sirius just liked to have his family home, and with Hogwarts proving to be even more dangerous by the day, he didn’t want any one of them there for very long. As long as they were under his own roof, Sirius could keep an eye on them, but Remus wondered if it would have been better for Sirius’s own mental health if they had stayed in the hospital wing.

Sirius looked doubtful at these reassurances, so Harry insisted, “I am. I just…” He felt slightly embarrassed, like it was such a childish thing to do. “I wanted to make sure I was really here,” he whispered. “That I wasn’t imagining it.”

Sirius blinked. “Oh.”

“I…” Harry began, but then he paused again. He didn’t know why everything he wanted to say suddenly felt silly to him, but he knew he didn’t have to be afraid to voice his feelings to his godfathers. “When I was in the shack, I think I fell asleep a couple times. It was difficult, because I was so scared, and I had a hard time relaxing. Plus you really don‘t want to fall asleep around Greyback of all people. You could wake up with all sorts of things missing.” Sirius’s face began to pale, so Harry hurried on, “But I did doze off here and there when I got so exhausted, I couldn‘t stay awake anymore.” He looked back and forth between Remus and Sirius, his expression helpless. “Every time I did, I kept dreaming that I was home, but then I’d wake up and…Greyback would be there. I really thought he was going to kill me…that I‘d never see this place again.” His voice cracked on the last words.

Sirius gripped the back of Harry’s neck and gently pulled him closer, pressing his mouth against the top of Harry’s head in a kiss. “Bastard’s on his way to Azkaban,” Sirius mumbled, his voice muffled. “He’s never going to hurt you again. Either one of you,” he added to Remus. “Not if I have anything to say about it, because if he does, his luck is going to run out. I _will_ kill him.”

Even though the point was moot, at least for the time being, the thought of Sirius killing Greyback made Remus distinctly uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because it reminded him of the fact that he had come so close to crossing that line himself tonight. In an effort to change the subject, Remus said, “Oh,” before reaching into his pocket. He withdrew Harry’s wand, which he had found in the Hogwarts’ grounds…he supposed that had been yesterday now. Everything since they had learned of Harry’s disappearance was all blending into one very long and horrible day. It was getting hard keeping track of when what had happened. Shaking his head, Remus took a few steps towards Harry, holding his wand out for him. “We found it when we were looking for you."

Harry smiled before grabbing it. “Thanks,” he mumbled. “I always seem to lose it when Greyback’s around.”

“Do you have the Marauder’s Map?” Remus asked next. “It wasn‘t in your room after you were taken, so we assumed you had it with you, but we weren’t able to find it.”

“Oh.” Harry fumbled around in his pockets for a moment before producing a battered piece of parchment. He laid it down on the table next to the cloak. “At least Greyback didn’t know it was magical, otherwise I think he would have tried to destroy it, too. Like the cloak.” Harry laid his hand over the Invisibility Cloak, lifting parts of it up to reveal the large claw marks Greyback had inflicted on it. “Can it be fixed?” Harry’s voice was sad at the thought of the last belonging of his father’s being ruined.

“I think so,” Remus said. “Perhaps Dumbledore can have a look at it. He’s…much more skilled at _Reparo_ charms than either of us. Than anyone I know, really.”

“Now,” Sirius asked, “what would you like to do? Anything you want. We can sleep, or we can eat - on second thought, you must be starving! Actually, that’s a good idea. I better make something before you starve to death, and I don‘t want to hear any arguments.” Sirius turned to the icebox in an attempt to look for food.

“I am hungry,” Harry agreed, “but I think I’d like a bath first and foremost. And a change of clothes. I feel gross.”

Whirling around to face his godson, Sirius said, “I don’t know, Harry. Perhaps you should have some nourishment first. You might not have the energy for a bath.”

Harry rolled his eyes and glanced at Remus desperately.

“For Morgan’s sake, Padfoot,” Remus said, stepping forward and placing a hand on Harry‘s shoulder in an attempt to offer him some support. “Believe me when I say that a bath will do Harry a world of good right now. Any amount of time spent around Greyback makes you feel absolutely filthy. It’s that stink cloud that follows him around everywhere.”

Sirius couldn’t exactly argue with that. “Should I come with you? I don’t want you passing out and drowning-”

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Remus interrupted gently. He then tilted his head towards Harry and gave Sirius a look that implied they should be alone for a while. Sirius seemed to understand; if there was anyone who could understand Harry’s run-in with Greyback, it was Remus.

Sirius nodded a bit helplessly. “Okay. I’ll make you anything you want to eat then. Just name it.”

“Er…” Harry thought for a moment. “Well, it’s almost morning, so breakfast, I guess. French toast. With lots of syrup.”

“And sausage,” Remus added.

Sirius narrowed his eyes playfully. “Just don’t think this is going to become a regular occurrence. I _hate_ cooking. This is just a special occasion.”

“Reserved for when we have run-ins with deranged werewolves,” Remus said knowledgeably, “and we wouldn’t dream of it, Padfoot.” He pressed against Harry’s shoulder gently, directing him towards the stairs.

Harry had a rough time climbing the steps at first. After all, he had just spent the last twenty-four hours or so in the same exact position, and his muscles were still quite a bit sore. Remus had grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled it over his shoulders, using his other arm to support Harry’s waist as they went.

“Don’t let him fall down the stairs!” Sirius cried after them.

“He’s fine, Padfoot,” Remus called back tiredly. “Do give me some credit.”

“Thanks,” Harry said.

Remus wasn’t exactly sure what Harry was thanking him for - for saving him from Sirius or helping him up the stairs. Either way, his response was the same. “Any time.”

Harry was watching him closely out of the corner of his eye. “You really know how I feel.” Remus looked at him quickly, and Harry recanted a bit, “I know it’s nothing compared to what you went through. A day could hardly be compared to two months, but-”

“Our experiences weren’t entirely different,” Remus cut him off, “no.”

“I just…he’s so _gross_ ,” Harry complained. “And you’re right. I feel like just being around him, even for a day, has made me absolutely filthy, but…” He stopped, partially out of fear, but also because he wasn’t sure how to vocalize what he was feeling.

But Remus knew. “Not just outside, but inside too.”

“ _Yeah_ ,” Harry replied, sounding surprised that Remus was able to put words to it so easily. “It’s like he had such a large impact on me emotionally, that he’s changed me forever.” When Harry realized what he said, his face turned red. “That sounds silly. It was _twenty-four hours_.”

“It isn’t silly. Not at all. Because I felt the same way almost as soon as joined his pack.” Remus considered this. “I think it’s because he’s such a strong presence. You can’t help but feel affected…disturbed by him no matter how long you‘re around him.”

“I…won’t be able to wash that feeling off, will I?” Harry asked tentatively.

Remus didn’t reply right away, just continued to help Harry climb the stairs. Eventually, however, he admitted, “It fades. You might get the urge to take a lot of showers between now and then. You might even feel like tearing your own skin off to try and fix it, but it does get better.”

They were quiet the rest of the way to the bathroom, and by the time they reached it, Harry was moving quite a little more smoothly. It was the most he’d moved in the last day, so it probably helped to loosen up his muscles.

“Why don’t you start your bath?” Remus suggested. “I’ll bring you a pair of pajamas to change into.”

Harry grinned. “Can you get my favorite ones? I always keep them here so they remind me of home.”

“The red fleece ones with the Snitches on them?”

“Yeah.”

“Consider it done.”

Once Harry closed the door to the bathroom, Remus remained out in the hall for a while. He ran a hand through this hair and heaved a heavy sigh. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, this was going to have a lasting impact on Harry. Remus had hoped that by finding him quickly, such effects would be minimized, but this was Greyback they were dealing with. Nothing with him was ever easy or simple.

As he went to retrieve the pajamas from Harry’s room, Remus became resolved to the fact they would get Harry through this - both he and Sirius. Both Harry and Sirius had been there constantly for Remus when he was struggling with his time with the werewolves, and Remus was determined to be the same rock that Harry had been for him. Remus would sit up with Harry at night if he had to, he’d listen to every single thing Harry needed to talk about and more, or he’d just be there if that was all Harry wanted. Every second until Harry felt like he could stand on his own again.

When he returned to the bathroom, Remus tapped lightly on the door. Once Harry called for him to come in, Remus pushed the door open, careful to avoid facing the tub. He laid Harry’s pajamas on the edge of the sink and then bent over, opening the cupboard door underneath. He fished out a big, fuzzy blue towel, placing that on top of Harry’s clothes.

“I’m decent,” Harry said from behind him, sounding slightly amused. “As decent as I can be in the tub anyway. You don’t have to keep hiding your eyes.”

When he looked, he saw that Harry had decided to take a bubble bath. The suds were quite high, obscuring the view of anything that would have been uncomfortable.

“Right,” Remus said, still not wanting to intrude on Harry’s privacy. “If you don’t need anything else, I’ll go and make sure Padfoot isn’t burning the house down.” Remus nearly got to the door before Harry’s voice stopped him.

“Remus.” The call sounded small and almost frantic. As Remus turned back into the room, Harry looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn’t quite know how. Harry glanced away then, staring across the room at the far wall. “This isn’t exactly the most comfortable place in the world to hang out, I know, but…” He stopped again, sounding too afraid to voice his feelings, but he didn’t need to.

“You don’t want to be alone.” Remus very clearly remembered his first bath after coming back from the pack. He’d completely broken down, sitting in the empty room with no one else there. He hadn’t known it at the time, but having someone around oftentimes kept him from going over the edge.

Harry gave him a pleading stare, his eyes large and frightened. He still had his glasses on, and they were dripping with condensation, beginning to fog up around the edges from the warmth of the water. “Please?”

Remus smiled as much as he could. “Anything you need, Harry. Just say the word.” Hesitating for a moment, Remus crossed the room and took a seat on the closed toilet. He rested his elbows on his knees, clasped his hands, and stared down at the floor, still not wanting to intrude on Harry.

“Can I ask you something?” Harry asked over the splash of bath water.

“Of course.”

“Do you think…” Harry began, but he broke off again. He bit his bottom lip in indecision before going on, “Do you think we’ll ever see him again?”

Remus sighed, watching his hands clench together as if they might contain some answers. “I don’t know. I’d like to say no. That Azkaban could hold him forever, but…”

“You’d be lying if you said it could,” Harry interjected.

Remus momentarily raised his eyebrows in a defeated response. “If there’s one thing Greyback doesn’t like to be, it’s caged. On the up side, only two people have been known to have escaped from Azkaban, one of them being your godfather.”

“I think they’ve learned their lesson after Barty Crouch, Jr.,” Harry said thoughtfully. He sounded like his bath was beginning to help him relax. “I doubt they’ll let anything like that happen again.”

“Something like that wouldn’t help Greyback anyway.” Remus snorted. “I doubt there’s anyone who would want to _try_ and get him out, certainly not at the expense of trading places with him. He’s not even worth that much to Voldemort. As it stands, Sirius is the only one to escape Azkaban unaided, but…I think if there’s anyone else who can find a way out on his own, it’s Greyback.” Remus made a face at his words. “As much as it pains me to say that.”

“I think so, too. That he’ll get out and he’ll come after me again.” A tiny note of panic had crept back into Harry’s voice again.

Remus shook his head firmly. “If he comes after anyone, it’ll be me. He only went after you in the first place to get to me. You were the means to an end for him.”

“The way you all are with me and Voldemort.”

That caused Remus to finally look up, and if he wasn’t much mistaken, he thought he caught the faintest shimmer of tears in Harry’s eyes. Then again, he wasn’t sure if it was simply a reflection of the bathwater or not. “Oh, Harry.” Remus took a shaky breath, the corners of his mouth curling up into a small smile. “That’s our downfall, isn’t it? We love each other too much.”

Harry stayed focused on his washcloth for a moment, which he held just above water level, squeezing it repeatedly and watching the suds drip out. Slowly, a smile formed on his face, eclipsing the frown that had just been there. “When you put it that way, it doesn’t seem like such a downfall after all.”

Remus hummed in agreement. “You know, when I was with Greyback tonight-” He stopped abruptly, grimacing. “Or last night, I guess it was. I don’t even know what day it is anymore.” Remus shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath and let it out gradually before continuing on. “When I was with him, I felt this overwhelming sense of pity for him. Even more than my sense of fear.” At the surprised look on Harry’s face, Remus clarified, “Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m still afraid of him. Very much so. But more than anything, I do feel sorry for him. We got to talking.” Remus let out a soft breath of laughter. “Which sounds insane, but we were actually carrying on a very civil conversation there for a while. More than ever, I saw that there was a very human soul in him at one time.” Harry raised an eyebrow in disbelief, and Remus responded, “I know. The very idea sounds ludicrous. I almost can’t even imagine it.”

“It’s like trying to imagine a young Dumbledore,” Harry pointed out. “Even though I know he was young at one time, my mind kind of goes blank when I try. It’s the same thing with Greyback. I know he can’t have been born that way.”

“No, he wasn’t,” Remus sighed. “He was a victim of circumstance, I think, and of the abuse he suffered in a werewolf colony. He always says that he had to become the way he is to survive, and…based on what I do know about colonies, I can see why. How he let that place warp him into the creature he is today. It would be hard for anyone to survive a colony for that long without being affected by it just as much.” Remus bowed his eyes, focusing on his hands again. “It would take an exceptionally strong person to get through it whole.”

Harry frowned deeply before looking down into the now dirty bathwater. It seemed like he was on the verge of inquiring further into Remus‘s words, but he had changed his mind and instead was looking for the answers in the water itself. When he spoke again, he switched topics entirely. “What do you think is going to happen with the rest of his pack?”

Remus paused in thought, glancing across the room at the single tiny window. It was just beginning to grow light outside, the very first beams of sun dying the sky a lighter shade of blue than the navy it was chasing away. “I don’t know,” Remus finally said. “Without Greyback…they’ve all been told what to do for so long, I imagine they’re going to have a hard time even _deciding_ what they should do without him. They’ve all been there for years. He’s all they’ve known. I suspect they’re all going to feel pretty lost right about now. Some of them might want to disband without him, because what is Greyback‘s pack without Greyback? They probably feel it’s wrong to stay together without him. Some of them would probably want to stay together, like it would be a disservice to him to not carry on what he started. I’m sure there are some that would want to elect a new leader, because that‘s something they do need - some kind of guidance. Some of them would probably even be willing to fight to the death for it, but how do you replace Greyback?”

“I don’t think you can.”

“Indeed.”

“Would-?” Harry began, but then he cut himself off. He turned his head away, his cheeks burning red as if he was embarrassed by what he had been about to say.

Remus tilted his head and leaned to the side, trying to get back into Harry’s field of vision. “Harry, what? You can ask me, whatever it is.”

Harry heaved a heavy breath, turning back to Remus. His eyes appeared slightly apologetic, like he was silently saying he was sorry for his thoughts. “I just…Would it be better…you know where they are. You could - I don’t know - turn them in.” Suddenly, it was like a damn had burst. Once Harry had gotten out his initial thoughts, he rushed on, trying to explain himself before Remus could get mad. “You said they’ve all bitten someone. It’s how they gain access to his pack. Shouldn’t they be reported for that?”

“No, Harry.” Remus’s answer was firm, but devoid of any anger whatsoever. Harry was relieved that he hadn’t upset Remus, and he visibly relaxed back into the bathwater. “Perhaps it might seem that way,” Remus explained, “but as it is, they were only following Greyback’s orders. I doubt many - if any of them at all - would have willingly chosen bringing this on someone else if they could help it. Greyback’s a special exception to that. And they only joined up with him because they felt like they were out of options, because society has made it nearly impossible to lead any kind of normal lives on their own. Do you honestly think anyone would willingly join up with him if they felt like they had something better?”

Harry pressed his lips together, shaking his head.

“I’m sure many of them wish they could take it back,” Remus sighed. “I know for a fact that Althea does. But it was either resort to Greyback’s pack or continue to try and survive on their own, which they had already tried and failed at. So in effect, it was either bite someone or die. They thought that was their best choice at the time. Oh, I’m sure there are some that enjoyed it and continue to do so because they enjoy the hunt, but I know not all of them are like that. If I reported them, they’d all be sent to a colony against their will or outright executed for it. Even if some of them did deserve that, all of them don’t, and I’m not about to lump them all into the same category. The Ministry doesn’t care about intentions, just about actions, and they punish accordingly. I‘m very lucky I never got into a position myself where I would have been on the receiving end of that.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry blurted out. He seemed to shrink down, sinking further into the water. “I know you feel strongly about that sort of thing, and I figured that’s what you would say. I just…I guess I imagine them to all be like Greyback, even though I know that’s not true.” Harry raised a hand out of the water, momentarily shading his eyes from Remus. “That would be like assuming you were like Greyback, too, just because you’re a werewolf. Morgan, I‘m sorry.”

“Harry,” Remus said warmly, “you don’t need to apologize. You didn’t mean anything by it, I know that. You weren’t there with me. You didn’t see what they were like. Greyback’s the only one of them you do know, so of course you’re going to assume the rest are all the same if they’re living with him. But I can tell you that that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Harry dropped his hand back down into the water with a plop, and then he scrunched up his face. “Now I know why Greyback hates that word so much - assume.”

“Greyback hates a lot of things.”

“Yeah.” Harry then glanced at the towel that Remus had placed on top of the sink. “Erm…”

“Done?” When Harry nodded, Remus stood up. “Okay, I’ll give you a minute.” Remus grabbed the towel and held it out for Harry, but he didn’t reach for it. He simply looked up at Remus, eyes wide and pleading. “I’ll just be out in the hall,” Remus reassured, giving Harry an encouraging smile. Harry smiled in return before finally taking the towel from Remus, cautiously holding it above the water. Remus headed for the door, hearing the final splashes of water as Harry stood from the tub.

Remus let himself out into the hall, closing the bathroom door and leaning against the wall. He pressed the back of his head against the hard surface, staring up at the ceiling as he waited. In some very small way, Remus was almost glad for the experience of having had to live with Greyback for a while. If he could help Harry even a little bit by giving him something to relate to, then perhaps it was worth it. Anything for Harry. Always anything for Harry.

A moment later, the door reopened and Harry emerged out into the hall, dressed in his red pajamas, his hair still damp from his bath. He fidgeted around for a moment, playing with his hands. He first glanced at the wall, then at the floor, then to Remus again. He opened and closed his mouth several times, desperately trying to say something, but it seemed as if he didn’t know how.

It was almost painful to watch, and while Remus hated to interrupt him, he felt like he had to. Remus firmly believed in giving people all the time in the world to say the things they needed to, as he was one of those people that sometimes didn’t say certain things until he was good and ready. At the same time, there would be plenty of time for that, because for the foreseeable future, Remus was going to be there for Harry as much as he wanted. And perhaps even more so. Remus suspected he might even become annoyingly coddling like Sirius could be, but Remus wasn’t going to take no for an answer. At least not for a while.

Remus closed the distance between them, wrapping an arm around Harry’s shoulder. He pulled Harry against him, and the two of them headed for the stairs, descending them in silence. Remus led Harry into the lounge, the same room the three of them had spent the night after Remus had come back from living with the werewolves.

Harry settled himself onto one of the couches, and Remus quickly withdrew his wand from his robes. He aimed it at the fireplace, conjuring a fire, which quickly engulfed the room in warmth. Then he grabbed the thick and fuzzy blanket that had been thrown across the other sofa. It had a scene on it of two wolves howling at a full moon, and had been a birthday gift from Sirius the year after he’d escaped from Azkaban. Even though both animals on the blanket were clearly wolves, Sirius insisted that one of them was Padfoot; it was supposed to remind Remus that Padfoot was always with him, even when Sirius himself couldn’t be.

Remus laid the blanket over Harry, then sat down next to him, pulling the blanket over his legs as well. Almost immediately, Harry leaned heavily into Remus’s shoulder. Remus felt a little caught off guard. Sure, he and Harry hugged, but they’d never really sat and cuddled before. That was always more Sirius’s territory, and in many ways, Remus still felt like Harry’s teacher sometimes. Even though he hadn’t been for well over two years, it seemed like they were still constantly trying to break down that formal wall that had gone up between them the moment Harry had stepped into his classroom.

Shaking the thoughts from his mind, Remus lifted his arm, curling it around Harry’s shoulders once again. Harry pulled the blanket more tightly around himself, pressing himself into Remus’s chest and curling in on himself. Remus smoothed some of Harry’s hair back from his forehead, nuzzling his nose into Harry’s hair. He gently kissed the top of Harry’s head then rested his cheek on it, listening as Harry’s breathing slowed.

_To be concluded…_


	7. It All Ends Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus’s quote about courage is by Ambrose Redmoon.

A while later, Sirius entered the lounge, using his wand to direct a large tray suspended in the air before him. As Sirius guided it into the room and brought it to rest on the coffee table in front of Remus and Harry, Remus’s stomach began to grumble hungrily at the scents that it brought with it. Remus ran his eyes over the tray, ogling the massive stack of French toast, the large plate with dozens sausage links, and a giant bottle of maple syrup. Remus was hesitant to move for fear of waking Harry, but then he noticed something that didn’t quite fit.

“You made treacle tart?” he asked, raising his eyebrow. “For breakfast?” He made a face; Remus was one of those people who found it hard eating anything too sweet before a certain hour of the day.

“I didn’t make it,” Sirius said, “I bought it. A couple days ago.” He paused before continuing. “It was supposed to be a surprise for both of you. I was planning on picking Harry up at Hogwarts after classes yesterday and bringing him home for dinner. I know we’ve all been missing each other since he went back, but that obviously didn’t happen. Since he‘s here, I figured we might as well have it now.” Sirius moved further into the room and sat down on the coffee table next to the tray, facing Remus and Harry on the sofa. Sirius took one look at his godson and frowned. “Should we wake him up to eat or not?”

“He’s had a rough day, Padfoot,” Remus whispered, glancing down at the sleeping lump curled up against him. “I think we should let him sleep for a while. He‘s at peace right now.”

Sirius bit his lip, seeming to scrutinize every inch of Harry, “How is he?”

Remus nodded encouragingly. “I think he’s good. I told you a bath does a world of good after an encounter with Greyback, and I think he just needed to talk about some things.”

Giving Remus a look that was somewhere between gratefulness and helplessness, Sirius bowed his head. He began focusing on his hands which were clasped between his legs.

“What?” Remus asked, not quite sure why his friend seemed so uncomfortable.

“I just…I’m thankful he has you. I’m thankful I have you, too, because both Harry and I would be lost without you. You’re the one that helps keeps us sane, I think. And I’m glad Harry has someone to relate to him in all of this, because Merlin knows I can’t.”

“Padfoot-”

“And I didn’t mean that to sound bitter if it did,” Sirius said quickly, grimacing. “He’s just going to have so many things to come to you with now instead of me. And I don’t mean to make light of your time with Greyback. Not at all. But you share something with him now that I can’t possibly understand.” He flushed and diverted his gaze again. “That‘s sounds so petty and selfish of me.”

“Padfoot,” Remus repeated, stopping his best friend’s rant. If he hadn’t been afraid of disturbing Harry’s sleep, he would have reached out a hand to grab one of Sirius’s. “He’s going to need you, too. I think I’d still be an absolute mess right now if not for you, if you hadn’t been here for me every single second since I got back. Now, you might not be able to understand, be able to relate to certain things, but I don’t think it matters. All that does is that you’re here and that you want to help. Sometimes just knowing that much makes all the difference in the world.

Remus paused and glanced down at Harry before continuing. “Harry’s helped me, too, in that respect. Just knowing that you’re both here for me, that I can count on you both, that I have people who love me despite all the thoughts Greyback tried to put in my head - it helps. He’s going to need both of us for that.”

“I know,” Sirius replied, nodding, “but this all makes me feel so helpless!”

“Me, too, believe me, but…at least this is better than when he was gone. Than when I was gone.” Remus gave him a pointed look. “At least he’s here, and he’s safe. I don’t think anything can match that feeling of absolute helplessness when we had no idea what was going to happen to him. That uncertainty is maddening. And right now…just listen to him when he needs it. That’s about the best we can do right now.”

“I can do that,” Sirius said quietly, but then he tilted his head to the side. He smiled and said, “Someone’s awake.” Remus looked down and indeed, saw bright green eyes shining up at him.

Harry smiled a bit and stretched against Remus. “Your talking woke me up,” Harry told them. When both Sirius and Remus began to apologize, Harry spoke over them. “I like hearing you two talk. It makes me feel better.” Harry pulled away from Remus a bit, sitting up straighter. He looked back and forth between both his godfathers before he said, “Remus is right. I need _both_ of you.”

Sirius reached out a hand, laying it on Harry’s cheek. “You’ve _got_ both of us, Harry,” he said. “Promise. If there‘s anything you need, just say the word.”

Harry’s eyes went to the still steaming plates of food next to his godfather. Without needing to be told, Sirius quickly began to divide the food up. Sirius passed heaping plates of everything to both Remus and Harry before helping himself to some as well. The three of them placed the plates in their laps and began eating. It was only then that they seemed to realize just how hungry they were. None of them had had sufficient sustenance since this ordeal had started, so they didn’t even bother stopping to talk while they were eating. The only noise in the room for the next several minutes was the soft clanking of silverware on their plates.

Finally, when they began to feel full and their eating slowed, Sirius broke the silence that had settled. “We do need to have a talk about what happened,” he said to Harry.

Harry stared down at his plate, pushing the remains of his French toast around in the sticky puddle of syrup. “I knew this was coming,” he muttered miserably.

“I’m beginning to think you have a death wish,” Sirius commented.

Letting his fork drop to his plate with a loud clang, Harry exclaimed, “It has nothing to do with that!” Sirius flinched away, and almost immediately, Harry began to regret his tone. For some reason unbeknownst to him, yelling at his godfather suddenly made Harry feel like bursting into tears. Before he even had time to register what was happening, he felt his eyes welling up with tears.

Remus placed a gentle hand on the back of Harry’s neck, first giving it a soft squeeze and then rubbing his palm against it soothingly. This seemed to calm Harry significantly, and he took a deep breath, reaching under his glasses to wipe away his tears.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, “but I wasn’t looking for trouble. I don’t know why everyone assumes I am. It’s always trouble that seems to find me.”

“Wandering onto the grounds alone is hardly the safest place to be,” Sirius pointed out.

“I _know_ ,” Harry answered. He began to say more, but then he seemed to think better of it and changed gears. “It sounds so stupid now. Actually, it sounded stupid at the time, too, but…” He trailed off, shaking his head.

“What sounded stupid?” Sirius spurred when Harry didn’t go on.

“The reason why I wandered out of school.”

“Try us.”

Harry heaved a heavy sigh, then he leaned forward and set his almost empty plate on the table. When he leaned back against the sofa, he looked back and forth between his godfathers again. Finally, he spoke. “Ever since the Death Eaters got into Hogwarts, it hasn’t felt the least bit safe to me. All I keep thinking about is one of _them_ coming around the corner, one of _them_ coming into my dorm in the middle of the night. I can’t sleep when I’m there. I haven’t gotten a decent night’s sleep since I’ve gone back. It scares me so much, I lay awake all night thinking about it. Waiting for them to come and find me. I‘m so tired, I feel like I‘m going crazy.” A sob suddenly escaped Harry. He was never one to cry, so what on earth was the matter with him?

“Oh, Harry,” Sirius breathed. He promptly got up from the table and took a seat on the other side of Harry on the sofa. He wrapped an arm around his godson and said, “Why didn’t you say something?”

Remus, who had been silent for the last few minutes, added, “Yeah, come to us before you try and run away from it. Is that what you were trying to do?”

Harry nodded, rubbing at his eyes again. “The castle was making me feel so…strangled. If I’m not even safe inside those walls, with _Dumbledore_ , where _am_ I safe at?! I thought the grounds might bring some relief from that, and at the time, they didn’t seem anymore dangerous than Hogwarts already was. And I didn’t say anything, because I was…embarrassed, I guess. How on earth can I be the savior of the wizarding world, this great brave Gryffindor, when I can’t even get to sleep I’m so scared?”

Remus had begun running his hands through Harry’s hair in a calming manner. “People always seem to equate bravery with a lack of fear,” Remus said, “and I don’t think that’s the case. Or at least, it shouldn’t be. Look, all three of us are Gryffindors, but does that mean we’re never supposed to be scared of anything? No, because that’s nonsense. Everyone is afraid of something at some point. It’s what makes us human. Even Voldemort and Greyback are afraid of some things. Voldemort of dying, and Greyback of being abandoned, as crazy as that sounds. I think it’s the only sign that they were ever even human at all - that they’re still capable of feeling those things. I read this quote once,” Remus went on, sounding wistful. “’Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.’ Wouldn’t you say that’s fair?”

Harry considered this, tilting his head back and forth in thought, but then he nodded a bit.

Turning toward Harry a bit, Remus hunched over a little to try and get closer to Harry’s eye level. “You were very scared when the Death Eaters did get into Hogwarts. So was I, but I told you to run, to leave me and save yourself. But you didn’t. You didn’t leave until you were sure I was coming with you. In that instance, you placed my safety above your own fear. That’s what bravery is all about, Harry. Not about not being scared, because _everyone_ is sometime, even the bravest man in the world.”

“And don’t think Moony’s brave?” Sirius asked. “He just admitted he was afraid, but does that make him any less brave in your eyes?”

“Of course not,” Harry promptly replied, glancing between them again. “You’re the two bravest people I know.”

Sirius grinned. “Yeah, I am pretty brave,” he agreed, which made Remus snort. Sirius playfully narrowed his eyes at Remus over Harry’s head before he said, “And I’ve been scared to _death_ of some things in my life, make no mistake. Azkaban mostly. Dementors.” He paused, pressing the knuckle of one finger against Harry’s cheek. “Of not finding you.”

When Harry faced his godfather again, his eyes were shimmering with unshed tears once more. “I was, too,” Harry whispered, his voice cracking. Then he growled in frustration, swiping his eyes dry.

“You may be a little overemotional the next few days or weeks,” Remus explained. “I’ve found Greyback has that affect on me too for some reason.”

“A deranged homicidal raging maniac kidnapped him and tied him to a bed!” Sirius cried. “Of course he’s going to be emotional!”

“That, too.”

Harry let out a very soft breath of laughter, which the other two men were relieved to hear.

“I do understand why you needed to get out of Hogwarts that night,” Sirius said, “and why you didn’t feel like you could come to us with it. I probably would have done the same thing had I been in your position. But you do have to be punished for it.”

Harry nodded, ducking his head in embarrassment. “I know.”

“I’ll speak to Minerva about it, but I imagine fifty points from Gryffindor and detention with your favorite teacher would do it,” Remus said.

Harry groaned, letting his head flop against the back of the couch. He started up at the ceiling blankly.

“Even I have to agree that Snivellus is the best solution in this case,” Sirius chimed in. Harry frowned in indignation, then Sirius placed a finger on his godson’s chin, directing Harry’s gaze towards him. “It’s only because we love you, and we don’t want to see anything happen to you.”

“I know,” Harry mumbled again. He seemed to be saying that a lot.

“Harry…” Sirius began after a moment of silence. “Would it help if we went to Dumbledore?”

Harry gave his godfather a questioning glance. “About what?”

Sirius gazed at Remus over the top of Harry’s head, as if asking his friend’s unspoken permission to carry on. When Remus didn’t object - and Sirius was absolutely sure Remus knew what he was thinking - Sirius continued. “About staying here at night for the rest of the term. I think the castle is safe enough to attend classes when everyone is up and about, but if you’re feeling so unsafe there at night that you can’t sleep, perhaps it would be better if you slept here.”

“I thought about that,” Harry replied in exasperation. “I even thought about going to Dumbledore myself, but let’s face it. He likes to keep an eye on me himself, likes to keep me under his thumb.”

“I think this might be less about your physical safety now,” Remus pointed out, “and more about your emotional safety. It’s just not healthy for you to be missing so much sleep. You said so yourself you feel like you‘re going crazy.”

“If Dumbledore cared all that much about my emotional safety,” Harry bit out, “he wouldn’t have made me live with the Dursleys all those years. He would have let me live with you instead,” he added to Remus.

“I wish you could have,” Remus said breathlessly. “I would have loved nothing more than to have you with me, to be able to raise you myself. But you know why I couldn’t.”

“If you say it’s because you’re a werewolf,” Sirius interjected, “I’m going to curse you.”

“It’s not about what I think,” Remus argued, “it’s about what the Ministry thinks! A werewolf gaining full custody of the Boy Who Lived, especially back then? Fat chance. It would be hard enough now, but back then, it would have been damned near impossible.”

“So they let me live with a bunch of nutcases,” Harry said. “That’s much better.”

Remus considered this before he spoke again. “Well, I don’t know if I would have been the best parent either.”

“Remus,” Harry said, giving Remus a stern look. “You and Sirius are the best parents I’ve ever had!” He paused for a moment before he conceded, “Course, that’s not saying a lot, considering the only parental figures I remember are the Dursleys, but you’re loads better than they could ever hope to be.”

His cheeks turning a bit red, Remus said, “I appreciate it, and perhaps now, yeah, I do an okay job, but I doubt I could have back then. I was a bit of a mess myself. I’d just lost the only friends I’d ever had. I thought my best mate had betrayed me in the worst possible way-” he broke off and threw Sirius an apologetic expression. “I don’t reckon I was exactly in the best shape to be raising a child.”

“We could have helped each other through it,” Harry suggested.

“Perhaps,” Remus agreed, “but there’s also the little matter of your mother’s protection. You know you were better off in that regard if you lived with the Dursleys. And Dumbledore just wanted you to have a few normal years before you found out that everyone in our world knew your name. Given, they may not have been normal with the Dursleys, but at least your fame was one thing you didn’t have to worry about back then. You know it gets to you sometimes, even now.”

Harry hated to admit it, but Remus did have a point. “Yeah,” he sighed, albeit grudgingly.

“But I do agree with Padfoot,” Remus went on. “I think we do need to talk to Dumbledore and see if we can’t somehow convince him that you’d be better off here now. After all, this lack of sleep is eventually going to catch up to you and your academics will begin to suffer. You need to learn these things, and it’s important that you’re at your best when you’re in class. If you’re not, that will ultimately affect your physical safety as well. You’re obviously feeling much more relaxed here if you fell asleep almost as soon as you sat down.”

“I am!” Harry agreed, sitting up a little bit straighter. “I feel safer here than I do anywhere.”

“In that case, perhaps Dumbledore could be persuaded to let you stay here,” Sirius said. “We’ll both go and talk to him.”

Harry settled comfortably in between his two godfathers, sighing contentedly. “I hope I can. Stay here, I mean. That’s all I’ve ever wanted since I met you.”

Silence fell among them, and Harry even became precariously close to drifting off again. But he fought to cling to consciousness, because he knew this conversation wasn’t quite over. He still had something that needed to be said; he had just been putting it off until he could build up enough courage to do so. Harry reminded himself, however, that courage was the realization that something else was more important than fear, and that pushed him on to say his piece.

“Remus?”

“Hm?” Remus sounded drowsy himself, like he had probably been quite close to falling asleep as well.

“I’m sorry.”

That got Remus’s attention and also seemed to wake him up. He sat up a bit straighter and asked in confusion, “What on earth for?”

Harry fidgeted with his hands for a moment. “Well…you said Dumbledore told you that the entire point of going to live with the werewolves was so you could eventually be in a position to keep an eye on me.”

When Harry didn’t offer anymore, Remus replied, “That’s right,” still sounding puzzled.

“Well…” Harry kept playing with his hands, now smoothing them over the blanket he had curled around him. “You did all that for me, so you could save me from the Death Eaters, and now I feel like I just gambled away all that. By going out and getting myself caught by Greyback all over again.”

It was Remus’s turn to place a finger under Harry’s chin, forcing the younger man to turn and face him. “Harry, it doesn’t matter to me how many times I’ve saved your life or for what reasons. I’ll continue to do so whenever you need it for as long as I’m able. You don’t owe me anything for it. I do so because I love you, and love asks for nothing in return.” Remus frowned and added, “Except in this case, it does.”

“What do you mean?”

Remus smiled a bit, the very corner of his lips twitching. “I just want you to stop needlessly putting yourself in danger. If you feel uncomfortable about something, if there’s anything we could possibly help you with, you need to come and tell us.”

“Yeah, we’re not mind-readers, kid,” Sirius mumbled sleepily.

“Or Dumbledore, or even McGonagall, or Mr. or Mrs. Weasley, or Ron and Hermione,” Remus went on. “ _Someone_. That’s much preferable to wandering off on your own when you have no idea what’s out there. Even asking for someone to take you for a walk would have been preferable to doing what you did. Even if you don’t think you’ll get anywhere, even if you’re embarrassed to do so, we’re here to help you, and I promise you that we will try our hardest to do just that. But you have to ask for it, okay?”

Harry nodded.

“That’s all I ask.”

“I love you, too,” Harry said.

Remus smiled, one of the first true smiles since this ordeal had started. He’d almost forgotten what he’d said in the midst of his speech, and he couldn’t quite find his voice at the moment. In reply, Remus simply reached an arm around Harry’s shoulders, pulling the boy against his chest. After a few moments, Remus said, “I know your godfather feels the same way, even when he falls asleep on us.”

Harry pulled away from Remus, twisting around in his seat so he could see his godfather. Indeed, Sirius was slouched against the back of the sofa, his breathing quite slow. He wasn’t completely asleep yet, however, because he managed to crack an eye open at the other two. “’M not asleep. I’m _resting_. It’s been a hell of a long day. Or couple days, or however the hell long it’s been. Godfathers do a lot of worrying in these kinds of situations, you know. I deserve my rest.” He closed his eye again and paused for effect. “But just for the record, I love you, too. Both of you. Even if you are going to give me a heart attack someday.”

Harry grinned, leaning against his godfather this time. Sirius reached up an arm, draping it over Harry’s shoulders and pulling his godson tightly against him. Harry burrowed against Sirius’s chest, and Remus tucked in the blanket around Harry. Remus pulled off Harry’s glasses, setting them on the coffee table. Then Remus scooted a little closer to Harry, sandwiching up against him, trying to make Harry feel as safe and secure as possible.

“I love you, too,” Harry murmured once more to both of them, just before sleep came to claim him. His very last thought before he drifted off was that he would be okay. He would.

_The end_


End file.
